I Never Knew There Was a Word for It - Adam Jacot De Boinod [107]
Over the centuries, some other fine reproaches have included:
doddypoll (1401) a hornless cow, hence a fool
jobbernowl (1599) a blockhead
slubberdegullion (1616) a dirty, wretched slob
goostrumnoodle (Cornwall 1871) a stupid person, a fool
LOOSE KANGAROOS
Australians, in particular, specialize in scorn for the intellectually challenged. In the 1950s you could have been as mad (or silly) as a cut snake, a hatful of worms or a Woolworth’s watch. More recently, in the 1980s, you might have been a couple of tinnies short of a slab or a few snags short of a barbie (where a tinnie is a beer can, a slab is a stack of cans and a snag is a sausage). Then again, a real idiot or drongo couldn’t blow the froth off a glass of beer, knock the skin off a rice-pudding, pick a seat at the pictures, find a grand piano in a one-roomed house, or tell the time if the town-hall clock fell on them. Other memorable expressions of Antipodean scorn include there’s a kangaroo loose in the top paddock and the wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
MEN OF STRAW
Fools can often be enthusiastic in their idiocy. Arguably more irritating are those whose marbles are all present, but who somehow just lack the drive:
dardledumdue (Norfolk 1893) a person without energy
maulifuff (Scotland) a young woman who makes a lot of fuss but accomplishes very little
gongoozler (1904) an idle person who stands staring for prolonged periods at anything unusual
mulligrubs (1599) a state of depression of spirits
accidie (Old French c.1230) spiritual torpor, world weariness
WHAT NOW?
Other types it’s as well to steer clear of include the mean …
chinchin (Middle English 1100–1500) to be stingy
stiff (hotel trade jargon) any customer that fails to leave a tip
the moaning …
crusty-gripes (1887) a grumbler
choowow (Fife) to grumble, a grudge
forplaint (1423) tired by complaining so much
the nosey …
quidnunc (1709) a person who always wants to know what is going on (from Latin: ‘what now’)
stickybeak (New Zealand 1937) an inquisitive person; also the nose of a nosy-parker
pysmatic (1652) interrogatory, always asking questions or inquiring
the elusive …
didapper (1612) someone who disappears and then pops up again
whiffler (1659) one who uses shifts and evasions in argument
kinshens (Scotland 1870) an evasive answer: ‘I don’t know, I cannot tell’
salt one up (US slang) to tell a different lie when covering up something
salvo (1659) a false excuse; an expedient to save a reputation or soothe hurt feelings
the unattractive …
farouche (Horace Walpole 1765) sullen, shy and repellent in manner
yahoo (Swift: Gulliver’s Travels 1726) a crude or brutish person
ramstamphish (Scotland 1821) rough, blunt, unceremonious; forward and noisy
the tedious …
meh (US slang popularized by The Simpsons) boring, apathetic or unimpressive
whennie (UK current slang) a person who bores listeners with tales of past exploits
and the just plain impossible …
quisquous (Scotland 1720) hard to handle, ticklish
utzy (LA slang 1989) uncomfortable, bothered, uneasy
argol-bargolous (1822) quarrelsome, contentious about trifles
camstroudgeous (Fife) wild, unmanageable, obstinate, perverse
whiffling (1613) trifling, pettifogging, fiddling
TWO GENTLEMEN
In the early nineteenth century two gentlemen in particular were to be avoided. Though both types persist, social developments may mean we see more of the second than the first these days. A gentleman of three ins was ‘in gaol, indicted, and in danger of being hanged in chains’. While a gentleman of three outs was ‘without money, without wit, and without manners’.
HIGH HAT
Foppish, conceited behaviour – once known as coxcombical