I Never Knew There Was a Word for It - Adam Jacot De Boinod [19]
The Family Circle
bu yin, bu long, bu cheng gu gong (Chinese)
unless one pretends to be stupid or deaf it is difficult to be a mother-in-law or father-in-law
Getting hitched
There comes a point, in most societies, where a relationship is formalized in law. As the Romanians say: dragostea e oarbă , dar căsătoria îi găseşte leacul, love is blind, but marriage finds a cure:
strga (Bulgarian) a survey or visit to the home of a prospective bride
kumoru aluweik (Khowar, Pakistan) to lure a girl into marriage
lobola (Manu Bantu, Zaire) the bride price (which is usually paid in cattle)
casarse de penalti (Spanish) to get married after discovering a pregnancy
dar el braguetazo (Spanish) the marriage of a poor man to a rich woman
skeinkjari (Faroese, Denmark) the man who goes among wedding guests offering them alcohol (‘that popular chap’)
Trouble and strife
Does one always live happily ever after? The evidence of our global languages suggests that it’s not always the case:
desortijarse (Caribbean Spanish) to return the engagement ring
kotsuniku no araso (Japanese) domestic strife (literally, the fight between bones and flesh)
ava (Tahitian) wife (but it also means whisky)
pelotilla (Caribbean Spanish) argument among spouses
ainolektros (Ancient Greek) fatally wedded
talik (Malay) to marry with the stipulation of automatic divorce for a husband’s desertion
rujuk (Indonesian) to remarry the wife you’ve already divorced
Yang
Sometimes, the man is clearly to blame when things go wrong (with the emphasis on infidelity, desertion and gambling):
pu’ukaula (Hawaiian) to set up one’s wife as a stake in gambling
qum’us (Persian) one who pimps his own wife
talak (Arabic) a husband who frees himself from his wife
agunah (Hebrew) a woman whose husband has deserted her or has disappeared and who is restrained from remarrying until she shows a bill of divorce or proof of his death
bawusni (Persian) a wife whose husband does not love her and seldom visits
Yin
At other times the fault lies with the woman (with the emphasis on laziness, bullying and antipathy):
farik (Persian) a woman who hates her husband
jefa (Caribbean Spanish) a domineering wife
shiri ni shikareru (Japanese) a husband who is under his wife’s thumb (literally, under her buttocks)
polohana’ole (Hawaiian) a woman who refuses to work but lives on her husband’s earnings
baulero (Caribbean Spanish) a henpecked husband who cannot go out alone
purik (Indonesian) to return to one’s parents’ home as a protest against one’s husband
Family matters
Once married, man and wife may find that their greatest problem is getting enough time alone. Extending the family can work both ways:
bol (Mayan, Mexico) foolish in-laws
sitike (Apache, USA) in-laws who are formally committed to help during crises
todamane (Tulu, India) entertaining a son-in-law or mother-in-law for the first time
bruja (Spanish, South America) a mother-in-law (literally, a witch)
biras (Malay) the relationship between two brothers’ wives or two sisters’ husbands
Chercher la femme?
When it comes to the family unit being threatened, why is there is no such thing as an homme fatal? Caribbean Spanish differentiates between a woman who prefers married men (comadreja, literally, a weasel) and one who lures them into extramarital relationships (ciegamachos). Can it really be that women are more predatory than men? Or is it that by luridly painting women as lustful (aa’amo in Hawaiian means ‘an insatiable woman’) and conniving (alghunjar