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Go to the library or a bookstore and read from a few books on subjects that intrigue you.

Call a friend from the past who has recently come to mind (they may be only a Google away) and say hello, you’re thinking about them.

Go to a thrift store and get something playful, totally fun, like red satin lacy pajamas, a stylish old dress, or a striped suit vest.

Sign up for a class in something, from exercise to cake decorating to CPR, possibly at a community learning center.

Call a friend and offer to do an exchange so you can get some help with a task that has you stuck—clearing out old clothes, cleaning up the garage, painting a room, talking about your fears.

Start playing or learning a musical instrument.

Swap child care so you have some free time.

Volunteer at a community agency or school.

On the introspective side you could:

Get up five minutes earlier and do some deep breathing and stretching.

Sit down for five minutes, breathe with a relaxed belly, and scan your body—as if there was a little you with a flashlight inside—noticing whatever you are feeling physically and emotionally.

Take ten minutes a day to focus on gratitude.

Sit down and drink a cup of tea and look out the window, and focus on your breathing.

Write about anything that comes to you for fifteen minutes a day.

Buy a yoga, Pilates, or other exercise tape and follow it for at least fifteen minutes, three times a week.

Meet a friend on a regular basis to go for a walk.

Do these things to spark your energy, wake yourself up, and expand the universe of your life.

STEP THREE

Pay Attention

14. Be a Scientist About Your Life

Listen friend, this body is his dulcimer.

He draws the strings tight, and out of it comes the music of the inner universe.

—KABUR, 44 ECSTATIC POEMS

Kabir’s words, “this body is his dulcimer . . . out of it comes the music of the inner universe,” underscores that being attuned to yourself means being as one with the music of the universe, the essence of who you are. In other words, we pay attention to ourselves to find out our own rhythms and harmonies. If you’ve ever watched a piano tuner, he taps a Y-shaped piece of metal that vibrates at 440 beats per second, which is the sound called A, then he holds it to his ear while he plays A on the piano. Then he puts a tuning wrench on the string pins and makes minute adjustments in the tension until the A string is a pure 440 vibrations per second.

When you show up to the world around you, you come in contact with many ideas, thoughts, and possibilities. When you take the next step and pay close attention, you attune to your body, mind, sensations, and emotions, which together give you a starting place for being wise in the world. In Buddhism, paying attention is often referred to as mindfulness and is the seventh step of the Eightfold Path. That sudden tension in your neck, sense of uneasiness, or feeling of calm are the convergence of thousands of signals moving from outside you to inside and back again. To be mindful is to notice them, pay attention, and use them as information.

For example, if you routinely feel drained or uneasy around a certain person, you have important data for making future decisions. Instead of analyzing the person, you make the connection: “If I’m around so and so, I feel drained and uneasy.” You can attempt to find a way to change your experience, but if that fails, it’s up to you to make an informed choice based on reality. If you have a judging, analyzing mind, it may create a lot of interference by trying to figure out why, making excuses, or suddenly feeling guilty—“I should be strong enough to handle it, I’m mean to go away.” It takes courage to start trusting the instrument of you, but the more you bring together the many aspects of yourself, including your impulses, physical sensations, intuition, and wisest mind, the more informed your decisions will be.

Paying attention means becoming a scientist about your mental habits. When your