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By Root 1002 0

inner voices are competing in a jumble of confusion, you can slow them down, take them apart, and listen to each one. Okay, let’s see. 1) I’m really upset in this relationship. 2) But I’m afraid of making a mistake if I leave. 3) I’d feel like a failure, I’ve messed up so many relationships. 4) Geez, I’m wanting some candy. 5) If I can just shift my attitude maybe it will all work. 6) I’m sleepy. I have my clients go into each part and explore everything it has to say, and then start having a conversation with each other. So much of getting unstuck involves slowing down whatever is going on inside so you can bring it all on screen and explore it. You quiet down the mental jumble and confusion by taking it apart.

The piano tuner can’t hear the vibration of the tuning fork if people are shouting, playing loud music, or interrupting with questions. Similarly, to attune to your real nature, you need to clear the clutter, noise, and tension of your mind and drop into stillness. From this place you see more clearly, feel more relaxed, and are better able to follow a path that is true to you.

Paying attention starts at a very basic level, by noticing when you are hungry, sleepy, uneasy, need to eliminate, want to be with people or alone. To flow with these needs is the starting point for integrating your body, mind, and emotions. You fine tune the instrument that is you so it can go from notes to melodies.

15. Pay Attention to the Eight Worldly Winds

As you’re in the process of finding the music of who you are it is easy to be pulled off course. In Buddhism these common influences are known as the Eight Worldly Winds.

Pleasure and pain,

gain and loss,

praise and blame,

fame and shame.

Take a moment to ponder how these influences shape your life. Which of the winds tend to throw you off center the most? Don’t forget to focus on both sides of the equation, such as praise and blame, because whatever takes you up can also take you down. The ego is being inflated either way. For example, what happens when you are blamed and criticized? Do you crumble and feel lousy about yourself for hours? This magnifies your self-absorption just as much as feeling elated over praise and adulation, because neither one means anything about the spirit of who you are. When you are blown off center by these worldly winds, you become the candle in the wind—you lose your grounding. You are measuring yourself on a scale of variable worth, which is sure to fluctuate and cause you to suffer.

Why are fame and shame paired together? To seek fame is usually an attempt to run from deep feelings of being bad, unlovable, or ashamed of who you are. The more you seek fame the more the shame churns inside because you are ensnared in the ego, which believes fame will make you happy. When seeking is driven by the ego, it is always accompanied by fear—fear of not having enough, of not succeeding, of losing what you’ve gained and having the dreaded shame come spilling out all over you. You then have the choice to run harder in a new direction or sit down, make friends with your shame, and get out of the race.

You might notice if the worldly winds are central to your whole life, or an occasional puff of wind. Notice the intensity and duration of your reactions when you are disappointed. Do you have a momentary upset that quickly dissipates, or are you still grumbling and constricted hours, or even days, after feeling the wind? This is a good indicator of how much your ego is hooked on the outcome of a situation.

To step beyond the grasp of the Eight Worldly Winds, you can start by paying attention to the suffering they create and how they affect all aspects of your being. For example, take fame/status/money: to gain fame you might overwork, put on a mask to impress people, create an image, or buy special clothes. Your internal dialogues will be intense and driven. You are strategizing, planning, worrying, hoping. Your breathing, which becomes shallow as a result, affects your ability to relax, which leads to internal tension. If you don’t achieve