• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

To prove you are worthwhile, have you done things that have compromised your health and well-being?

Have you spent countless hours and lots of money on your self-image—as hip, classy, beautiful, or powerful?

To prove you are lovable or to not feel alone, have you stayed in painful relationships?

Have you given up attempting to have intimate relationships to avoid facing loss?

To prove you are powerful, do you seeks positions of power and become demanding and impatient with others?

Do you feel sabotaged whenever you start to do something good for yourself? (You may get tired, want to run away, feel discouraged, or think it’s impossible.)

Do you feel guilty or worried about losing someone’s love when you start to be honest or do something positive for yourself?

Do you feel guilty or anxious for taking a day off for pleasure?

Whatever you’re seeking, do you keep needing more of it, be it validation, money, sex, accolades, possessions, drugs, or excitement?

Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel terrible if you make mistakes or someone disapproves of you? Do you blame others if something goes wrong?

Do you need to have power over others, to be in control to prevent feeling uneasy or vulnerable? Are you upset if someone challenges your authority?

Do you feel either one up or one down? Do you judge or feel judged? Do you rarely feel on par with other people and able to relax into a spontaneous connection? Do you feel ambivalent in many situations?

Does your sense of feeling okay rest on someone telling you repeatedly that they love you, care about you? But when they say it the uneasiness doesn’t go away, and you need to hear it again, soon!

Do you make lists to prove that you are good or worthwhile? I’ve helped others, been kind to dogs, given money to charity, and volunteered at the nursing home. (Unfortunately, many therapists and teachers suggest this.)

Do you have a litany of negative thoughts streaming through your mind? I’ve messed up, I’m not good enough. No one will ever love me. I’ll never get out of this lousy low-paying job and have a good life.

Do you worry incessantly? What might go wrong? When will I have sex again? Is something wrong with my health? Where will I be in five years? Will my children be all right?

Throughout this process of examining your false core beliefs, I urge you to be profoundly merciful on yourself. These thoughts are hardwired into the nervous system and they persist until we observe, challenge, and loosen their grip.

Pure freedom is the essential law of the spirit. Freedom cannot “be conceived.” It is lived, but it cannot be lived till concepts cease. The cessation itself is Liberty.

—ROBERT LINSSEN, LIVING ZEN

23. Feel the Freedom of Beginner’s Mind

The beginner can know everything. The expert has no room to learn.

—ZEN SAYINGS

To live in the realm of Buddha nature means to die as a small being, moment after moment.

—SHUNRY SUZUKI, ZEN MIND, BEGINNER’SMIND

Scenario: I’m in the hospital a few hours after surgery feeling virtually no pain as a result of several Reiki healing treatments. The doctor walks in and asks if I’ve had any painkillers. I tell her no, I’m feeling quite all right because some friends did a Reiki healing on me. Her eyes get that familiar glazed-over look that signals that her mind doesn’t have any place to put my response. After a long pause she blurts out, “Well, you’ll have more pain tomorrow!”

In a well known Zen story, an enthusiastic and smart university professor comes to an old Zen master for teachings. When the professor accepts the invitation to have tea, the Zen master pours the tea into his cup until it overflows. The Zen master keeps on pouring in spite of the obvious dismay of the professor. “A mind that is already full cannot take in anything new,” the master explains. “Like this cup, you are full of opinions and preconceptions.” To find happiness, you must first empty your cup.

When we are wedded to a belief system, we have no room to absorb