If the Buddha Got Stuck_ A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path - Charlotte Sophia Kasl [50]
Guidelines
Make a vow to yourself to be completely honest about the facts of your life. Notice what you are seeking in conversations when you want to exaggerate or minimize a story. What happens when you resist the temptation and just tell the truth?
Notice the body sensations that go with truth or deception. (In the beginning, you actually may feel more uneasy with the truth.)
Make a commitment not to talk about anyone negatively behind their back. Get clear about your concern and go directly to the person involved.
When in doubt about whether to say something, don’t say it. Even a minute of uneasiness or a wiggle of doubt suggests you are not clear. Take time to think about what you want to say. Discern your motivation. It’s a challenge to realize that your perceptions are the result of your lens and can be a limited view of reality.
29. Take Off the Lenses That Color Your Truth
Lenses can be thought of as the particular focus we use to interpret the world. They can be dark or rose colored. Common lenses are worry, fear, suspicion, or a belief that the world is dangerous, you can’t trust anyone, or you must be perfect to be accepted. On the other extreme we have filters such as, “Everything will take care of itself,” “Everyone is really good,” or “I can do anything I set my mind to.” Both sides of the spectrum give us an incomplete picture of the world.
People are adept at defending their lenses because they seem so familiar and real. A parent might retort, “What do you mean I worry too much about my children? It’s natural to worry about your kids. All parents do.” We need to question our assumptions about what’s natural and realize that what’s natural to us isn’t necessarily natural to others. It usually has more to do with our conditioning than any law of nature. Challenging our filters can be like popping the bubbles we live in or being shaken to our core.
When you take off a lens or filter you can see more of life’s gradations and ambiguities. This demands your presence in the moment. Being free of lenses can be compared to being in a sailboat in which safety requires that you notice the changing winds, clouds, and waves, and that you react appropriately. There is no rule book to follow. Even though you’ve studied or gone to sailing classes, survival depends on awareness in current time.
Living without lenses makes life relatively quiet because you are not so busy rationalizing, and you’re not having exhausting internal arguments trying to fit people and events into your limited box. At first the quiet of reality may seem dry and boring in contrast with the drama and chaos of running from the truth. But with time, you settle into a vast stillness like “the peace that passeth understanding.”
It can be uncomfortable to be around a group of people whose lenses are different from yours. For example, if you see through the theistic lens of Christianity, you might feel uneasy around someone who sees through the lens of Buddhism, which has no concept of God. Many people find it extremely challenging to accept that most “beliefs” are lenses, not necessarily truths. People debate their lenses—it’s true or not true—they fight over them and hate over them because the ego thinks lenses are real. But just as anyone can take off their glasses, consider dropping your most cherished lens for a moment and see how it feels.
If you drop into stillness and follow that quiet stream of what feels clear and right, a steadiness and power grows within you. When you live close to the truth as it arises moment to moment, you are in the flow of your being—a place where words and opinions fall away.
30. Commit to Living by the Truth—Fear and All