If the Buddha Got Stuck_ A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path - Charlotte Sophia Kasl [69]
When we started going through a stack of things on the desk she’d ask, “Where does it go?” and she’d get up and put it there, even if it meant going to another part of the house. Her theme song was, “Do it now, now, now!” Doing things now is also a theme in Buddhism. Be here now—eyes, ears, mind, breath, body—be present right now, be with whatever is going on. Don’t save life for later.
Because Linda could work faster and more efficiently, I paid her more per hour, so she could go home earlier and take a five mile walk with a friend. And that’s the point of being efficient. Efficiency is not some moral virtue; rather, it gives you time to do the things that bring you pleasure and time to relax.
Managing your energy often includes giving up perfectionism. Perfectionism creates tension and stress as we focus on getting everything done just right—often by someone else’s standards—as opposed to completing the task sufficiently and staying relaxed. If there’s a recurring theme I hear in my therapy practice it’s people feeling discouraged by an internal critic saying, “You never do anything good enough.” We need to pick and choose what needs meticulous attention and what doesn’t need to be so perfect.
Jack, whom I counseled with his wife, Kristin, complained bitterly of never having enough time to relax and have fun. When he complained about taking care of the yard, the house, the dog, and so on, Kristin broke in and said, “But Jack, you take three hours to mow the yard perfectly when I can do an okay job in forty-five minutes. It doesn’t need to be so perfect—the grass will grow back anyhow.” Think through the tasks that can be done less perfectly if you feel stressed for time. In other words, there’s nothing wrong with taking three hours to mow the yard if you have the time and enjoy it, but if you’re feeling stressed, do a reasonable job and save time for fun. There is a scene in Robinson Crusoe when Crusoe and Friday are building a canoe together and Crusoe tells his cohort, Friday, that it’s time to declare the task is done. In other words, it’s good enough, let’s go to the next step.
Take time to get organized. It’s calming to know you can reach for something and find it in a predictable place. It basically takes a file drawer (or a box) and some file folders with labels like “unpaid bills,” “tax information,” “birth certificate.” It’s also helpful to have a calendar to write down notes such as “insurance payment due.” Not having a system to pay bills on time costs us in late fees, a feeling of chaos, and a bad credit rating. It can mean driving to town in heavy traffic to make a car payment at the last possible moment instead of mailing it two days earlier. Compare the energy cost of getting frantic, using an hour of time, and feeling frustrated, plus the cost of gas, with putting a 37 cent stamp on an envelope and dropping it in your mailbox. This might sound like one small thing, but multiply it by ten little stresses a week and you join the ranks of people who chronically say, “Sorry I didn’t get back to you, my life has been crazy lately.”
If you tend to be chaotic or inefficient, take some time to create a system. Schedule time on your calendar to actualize your plan, as in: “Tuesday evening I’m going to buy file folders, three-ring binders, paper and dividers, markers, and a desk calendar. Wednesday, during my lunch hour, I’m going to the hardware store for duct tape, screws to fix things, and a duplicate key to hide so I don’t get locked out again.” Many people know what needs to be done but don’t get to it, even if it would mean saving a lot of time and hassle. If you can’t get started, ask a friend