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By Root 1060 0

often means getting past a lifetime of conditioning and beliefs that grab you by the throat when you attempt to change your life. In other words, you can feel a bit like David meeting Goliath when you start in a positive direction. But instead of picking up a slingshot, we will approach these discouraging voices, critics, and censors with awareness.

We’ll bring our mental habits and thought patterns on screen, where we they can be seen, explored, and understood, and eventually transformed. I am indebted to Stephen Wolinsky for processes 2 and 4. I refer the reader to his books listed in the recommended readings at the back of this book, to learn about other processes.

The processes that follow are central to loosening your identity with your thoughts, beliefs, and concepts. It’s about sorting out what’s you from what’s not you so you can give birth to your real self. You may find one that speaks to you, or you may want to try them all. Done repeatedly, they are likely to be very freeing.

Dismantling Your Censors and Saboteurs

EXERCISE 1.

Notice Your Sabotaging Thoughts or Behaviors

Whenever any of the thoughts on the following list come up, recognize them as the cunning, clever, and ingenious saboteur or censor within you. Notice how they discourage you from starting or completing tasks or dish out guilt when you take time to relax or take good care of yourself. Remember, they got into you through your conditioning but they are not who you really are. At the same time, don’t fight them or give them energy—just be aware of them.

THOUGHTS

You don’t deserve it.

You aren’t worth it.

Yeah, right—sure you can.

You’re a loser.

It’s hopeless.

Who do you think you are?

Let’s wait until tomorrow.

Danger! Those feelings will get you in trouble.

You won’t be loved if you do that.

Don’t be lazy; you should be productive.

Excuses: There’s not enough time. It would cost money. I don’t know how.

EMOTIONS AND BODY SENSATIONS

Fear, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, you might make a mistake, not look good to the world, not be productive, for example.

Apathy or inertia—you want to go to bed and wake up when it’s over.

Distraction.

Anxiety at the prospect of doing something new.

Sleepiness at the prospect of doing something new.

Tension in your body when you attempt something new.

Keep a daily journal of all the thoughts or experiences that signal your saboteur or censor is operating. Think of times when you started to to do something proactive for yourself then stopped.

EXERCISE 2.

Peel Back: What’s Under Your Fears?

This is often known as checking for the worst case scenario. It is taught in therapy classes and is a common technique for bringing people into reality and letting go of old fears.

Take a situation where you feel afraid or stuck, are sabotaging yourself, or making excuses or giving reasons why you can’t do something. Then peel it back by asking, “Then what?” Stephen’s version is to ask, “What’s the worst thing about that?” Use whatever works for you.

For example:

I’m really afraid to leave this relationship.

What’s the worst thing about that?

I’d be alone.

What’s the worst thing about that?

I’d be scared.

What’s the worst thing about that?

I’d get depressed.

What’s the worst thing about that?

I might kill myself.

What’s the worst thing about that?

I’d be dead.

At this point, people often smile or laugh, because they realize they probably will not die and that it’s not a cosmic catastrophe.

EXERCISE 3.

Use Affirmations to Flush Out Your Saboteurs

This form of affirmation is to flush out censors and saboteurs so you are aware of them. You choose a possibility or an action you would like to take, and see what arguments or sabotaging thoughts come up. Choose one affirmation (for example, I can start exercising), then listen to whatever argument comes up. Allow one argument per affirmation.

For example:

I can start exercising regularly.

Oh, sure. You never have before.

I can