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You’d have to give up the late show.

Choose an affirmation that opens up a possibility. You can use one of the following or make up your own. I can ___________.

I will not let fear stop me from ___________.

I can take care of myself by _____________.

I can love myself by _____________.

I can improve my life by _____________.

Keep saying the affirmation until all arguments subside. This may require weeks, or even months. Even if the argument fades on a given day, come back to the affirmation several times to check for any other internalized messages that may be getting in your way.

Repeat daily (or as often as possible) until you feel an internal shift.

Variation: Walk or jog while saying or thinking the affirmation; use a lap counter to click with each of the above-mentioned affirmation.

Notes: Don’t quit when the opposition mounts. As you are getting close to a shift, you may feel an incredible force pushing back at you. Just keep going. (I did this to write my first book.)

EXERCISE 4.

In-Depth Exploration of Stuck Places

This is a modified version of a process Stephen Wolinsky teaches in his introductory workshop. It is the basic exercise used to dismantle false core beliefs.

Choose a pair of beliefs to dismantle, such as “I am worthless” and “I am worthwhile.” Then go through a detailed list of questions to investigate how they operate in your life. Do one first and then the other. The purpose is to stop false core beliefs from operating unconsciously so you can fully grasp their impact on your life. This usually de-energizes your false core beliefs so they ultimately lose their power.

If you are doing this process in a dyad, one person asks the questions and the other responds, saying everything that comes to mind without going off into long stories. It works best if both people drop down into their bodies as they pose the question or give the answer.

Note: Skip any questions that don’t seem relevant. Add or subtract questions as you see fit, but let the reponder have this list of the questions so he can let you know if you skipped something that seems important.

The questions:

Who modeled this behavior/concept ______?

Where in your body do you experience this concept _______?

What have been the consequences of this belief ________?

Go through the following questions, always repeating the first part, Have you ever used this belief ______________ (of being worthless) to: Get taken care of?

Avoid anything?

Bond with others?

Get sympathy?

Stay in a painful relationship?

Reinforce feeling helpless?

Blame others?

Maintain an image of yourself (good, mellow, loser, nice, important, insecure)?

Give yourself an identity or feel important or significant?

Feel special?

Feel superior or inferior or both?

Punish anyone? Including yourself?

Prove yourself to someone?

Keep someone from leaving you?

Have fantasies of the future when you will have what you want?

Avoid taking care of your health?

Avoid doing something hard?

Feel special or different?

Avoid feeling anxious?

Cover up feelings of fear?

Cover up feeling lonely?

Cover up feeling angry?

Cover up beliefs of being ____________? (inadequate, worthless, invisible, powerless, or helpless)

Allow yourself to over work?

Avoid managing your finances?

Justify ruthless behavior?

Justify addictive behavior?

Avoid taking responsibility?

Not succeed beyond a family member or outshine others?

Stay loyal or connected to someone?

Anything else?

Was there any shocking, disturbing, or chaotic event that occurred prior to taking on this belief?

When you took on this belief was there anything you pretended not to see, understand, or know? Were there any other beliefs that got created?

Now imagine this thought__________________ as just a thought or concept that got created, then think of it as energy.

See yourself and the thought floating