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Hire someone.Okay, so you’ve tried to make a repair, balance your checkbook, fix a leaky faucet, get some little task done, and all you have to show for it six months later is a lot of guilt, anxiety, and stress. It can be a great relief to hire someone to help. In other words, give yourself a break—most of us have some areas of our lives that make us want to run for cover. You get to be good at some things and a lot less competent at others. If you can’t afford to hire someone, find someone to swap with.

Give yourself rewards.Some people think the concept of rewards sound silly, something like when we were children and got little star stickers for doing our chores. But adults like rewards too; getting them taps into the child in us. At Weight Watchers they give “bravo” star rewards for everything—losing five pounds, showing up sixteen times, gaining weight and not quitting the program. Think of what would feel good to you.

Readjust your goals.If you repeatedly don’t meet your goals, readjust them so they are realistic and possible. You’re likely to stay with something when it gives you a feeling of mastery and success. Set yourself up for success, not guilt and recriminations.

Do something for a given time period every day.This step is for people who are afraid of starting something because they feel powerless to stop. This could be sorting boxes, writing, playing music, cleaning, or taking on a task. Set some kind of limit—one hour, one box, and do no more or no less. Doing this can help you develop internal control. You can learn a great deal about yourself from noticing what happens when you stick to a schedule or set a limit.

Stay focused on the big picture.The big picture is your life—your happiness, health, and well-being and the mysterious nature of life. You are becoming more of who you truly are (or who you are not) and are getting closer to your essence when you get all the distractions of guilt, clutter, and a speeding mind cleared out. This allows you to hear the silence, to drift with the flow of impermanence.

Make appointments on your calendar.I’ve referred to this earlier, but it’s important enough to include here again. If you have difficulty sticking to a plan, schedule times to exercise, study, clean, do yoga, then write them in your appointment book. Think of this as having a date with a very important person in your life—you.

Hang out with your resistance.Notice anxiety, physical sensations, breathing difficulty, numbing out, rationalizing. Just sit and be with them and ask, “What is this about? What false core belief is underneath this?” Notice any shame, guilt, or ego-driven thoughts, and remind yourself this is about the temporal rise and fall of sensations and thoughts but not about the essential aliveness that is constant.

Give yourself a whack (not physical).Sometimes we need to be jarred loose. Mary, who was pining for a lost love, said that a friend jarred her loose when she exclaimed, “Just let him go! Just send him down the river! Say good-bye. Put him in a barge and let him go. Don’t keep talking about him.” This may sound perilously close to, “Just say no.” But sometimes we need to say, “Enough, I’m not going there any more. That’s it. I’m going to listen to my wise mind.” We need to give ourselves a little lecture and make a commitment to shift our focus. It’s important to exert mental discipline and not indulge our misery and melancholic gloom.

Take one extra step.This step is for expanding the boundaries of your perceived capacity and ability. It’s about getting past the resistant ego by doing just a bit more than you set out to. If you say you’re going to swim twenty laps, swim twenty-one. If you’re taking a walk, go one extra block. If you keep nudging yourself past your perceived limitations, you will develop a sense of greater inner strength. Of course some people need to do the opposite—to let their body tell them its time to quit pushing themselves and stop.

Do it anyhow