In the Buddha's Words - Bhikkhu Bodhi [64]
(from DN 31: Sigālaka Sutta; III 180–81, 187–91)
2. THE FAMILY
(1) Parents and Children
(a) Respect for Parents
“Monks, those families dwell with Brahmā where at home the parents are respected by their children. Those families dwell with the ancient teachers where at home the parents are respected by their children. Those families dwell with the ancient deities where at home the parents are respected by the children. Those families dwell with the holy ones where at home the parents are respected by their children.
“‘Brahmā,’ monks, is a term for father and mother. ‘The ancient teachers’ is a term for father and mother. ‘The ancient deities’ is a term for father and mother. ‘The holy ones’ is a term for father and mother. And why? Parents are of great help to their children; they bring them up, feed them, and show them the world.”
(AN 4:63; II 70)
(b) Repaying One’s Parents
“Monks, I declare that there are two persons one can never repay. What two? One’s mother and father.
“Even if one should carry about one’s mother on one shoulder and one’s father on the other, and while doing so should live a hundred years, reach the age of a hundred years; and if one should attend to them by anointing them with balms, by massaging, bathing, and rubbing their limbs, and they should even void their excrements there—even by that would one not do enough for one’s parents, nor would one repay them. Even if one were to establish one’s parents as the supreme lords and rulers over this earth so rich in the seven treasures, one would not do enough for them, nor would one repay them. For what reason? Parents are of great help to their children; they bring them up, feed them, and show them the world.
“But, monks, one who encourages his unbelieving parents, settles and establishes them in faith; who encourages his immoral parents, settles and establishes them in moral discipline; who encourages his stingy parents, settles and establishes them in generosity; who encourages his ignorant parents, settles and establishes them in wisdom—such a one, monks, does enough for his parents: he repays them and more than repays them for what they have done.”
(AN 2: iv, 2; I 61–62)
(2) Husbands and Wives
(a) Different Kinds of Marriages
On one occasion the Blessed One was traveling along the highway between Madhurā and Verañjā, and a number of householders and their wives were traveling along the same road. Then the Blessed One left the road and sat down on a seat at the foot of a tree. The householders and their wives saw the Blessed One sitting there and approached him. Having paid homage to him, they sat down to one side, and the Blessed One then said to them:
“Householders, there are these four kinds of marriages. What four? A wretch lives together with a wretch; a wretch lives together with a goddess; a god lives together with a wretch; a god lives together with a goddess.
“And how does a wretch live together with a wretch? Here, householders, the husband is one who destroys life, takes what is not given, engages in sexual misconduct, speaks falsely, and indulges in wines, liquor, and intoxicants, the basis for negligence; he is immoral, of bad character; he dwells at home with a heart obsessed by the stain of stinginess; he abuses and reviles ascetics and brahmins. And his wife is exactly the same in all respects. It is in such a way that a wretch lives together with a wretch.
“And how does a wretch live together with a goddess? Here, householders, the husband is one who destroys life … who abuses and reviles ascetics and brahmins. But his wife is one who abstains from the destruction of life ... from wines, liquor, and intoxicants; she is virtuous, of good character; she dwells at home with a heart free from the stain of stinginess; she does not abuse or revile ascetics and brahmins. It is in such a way that a wretch lives together with a goddess.
“And