In the Buddha's Words - Bhikkhu Bodhi [65]
“And how does a god live together with a goddess? Here, householders, the husband is one who abstains from the destruction of life … from wines, liquor, and intoxicants; he is virtuous, of good character; he dwells at home with a heart free from the stain of stinginess; he does not abuse or revile ascetics and brahmins. And his wife is exactly the same in all respects. It is in such a way that a god lives together with a goddess.
“These, householders, are the four kinds of marriages.”
(AN 4:53; II 57–59)
(b) How to Be United in Future Lives
On one occasion the Blessed One was dwelling among the Bhagga people, near Suṃsumāragiri, in the Deer Park of the Bhesakalā Grove. One morning the Blessed One dressed, took his upper robe and bowl, and went to the dwelling of the householder Nakulapitā.3 Having arrived there, he sat down on the seat prepared for him. Then the householder Nakulapitā and the housewife Nakulamātā approached the Blessed One and, after paying homage to him, sat down to one side. So seated, the householder Nakulapitā said to the Blessed One:
“Venerable sir, ever since the young housewife Nakulamātā was brought home to me when I too was still young, I am not aware of having wronged her even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.”
Then Nakulamātā the housewife addressed the Blessed One thus: “Venerable sir, ever since I was taken to the home of my young husband Nakulapitā, while being a young girl myself, I am not aware of having wronged him even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.”
Then the Blessed One spoke thus: “If, householders, both wife and husband wish to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well, they should have the same faith, the same moral discipline, the same generosity, the same wisdom; then they will be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.”
When both are faithful and generous,
Self-restrained, of righteous living,
They come together as husband and wife
Full of love for each other.
Many blessings come their way,
They dwell together in happiness,
Their enemies are left dejected,
When both are equal in virtue.
Having lived by Dhamma in this world,
The same in virtue and observance,
They rejoice after death in the deva-world,
Enjoying abundant happiness.
(AN 4:55; II 61–62)
(c) Seven Kinds of Wives
On one occasion the Blessed One was dwelling at Sāvatthī in Jeta’s Grove, Anāthapiṇḍika’s monastery. In the morning the Blessed One dressed, took his bowl and robe, and went to Anāthapiṇḍika’s house, where he sat down in a seat prepared for him. On that occasion people in the house were making an uproar and a racket. The householder Anāthapiṇḍika approached the Blessed One, paid homage to him, and sat down to one side.4 The Blessed One then said to him: “Why are people in your house making this uproar and racket, householder? One would think they were fishermen making a haul of fish.”
“That, venerable sir, is our daughter-in-law Sujātā. She is rich and has been brought here from a rich family. She does not obey her father-in-law and mother-in-law, nor her husband. She does not even honor, respect, esteem, and venerate the Blessed One.”
Then the Blessed One called the daughter-in-law Sujātā, saying, “Come, Sujātā.”
“Yes, venerable sir,” she replied, and she went to the Blessed One, paid homage to him, and sat down to one side. The Blessed One then said to her: “There are these seven kinds of wives, Sujātā. What seven? One like