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By Root 490 0

Olivia, and you turned down Curtis yesterday. (I’m setting it up this way because it’s more awkward than if Curtis’s offer was still being considered.)

Assistant: Curtis Counter’s office. Dora speaking.

You: Hi Dora, this is Sally Instant. Is Curt the flirt in? . . . Oops, sorry!

I used that to remember his name (Do 82).

Dora: Hi Sally! Sorry we won’t be working together.

You: Well, that still may happen!

Dora: Great! I was looking forward to you doing the monthly sales report.

Here’s Curt.

Curtis: Curtis Counter.

You: Hi Curt! This is Sally.

Curtis: Well I’ll be . . . to what do I owe this honor?

You: Well, I’ve been reconsidering your offer. I just received one for twenty-five percent more from one of your competitors (true—every offeror is a competitor). But I would really like to work with you and your team.

Curtis: I’ve been thinking about it, too. The fact that you had the courage to call me back says volumes about you. I appreciate the call.

You: I was thinking that we could reconfigure the job so that I’d contribute even more. Why don’t I just start and within a week I’ll have a job description for you with creative new duties?

Curtis: But what if we can’t continue to pay you that amount?

You: I always want to be paid what I’m worth. There’s a lot we can do to increase your profit. The competitor really wants me, and I’ll just tell her it’s going to be another week before I decide.

Curtis: You would really do that?

You: Yes . . . it’s the honorable way to handle this, eliminates your risk, and enables us to really look at this opportunity from the inside out!

Curtis: Sounds like an offer I can’t refuse!

You: What time do you want me there tomorrow morning?

Curtis: Are you busy now?

You: Yes. I have to call a very excited competitor of yours.

Curtis: How about if I meet you at 7 A.M. and we start talking before everyone arrives? Then you can fill out the paperwork.

You: I’ll be at the front door at 7 A.M. sharp, ready to help.

Curtis: Looking forward to getting you on board!

You: Thanks. Have a good evening.

Curtis: You too, Sally the savior!

Counteroffer counterattack calls (better than e-mails) are great fun when you’re instanting, because you just drop the counteroffer on the offerors. Then watch them slosh around in the mire. They gasp, grasp, and outbid the phantom competitor.

When you have multiple offers (an I.I. occupational hazard), it becomes downright exhilarating. You need a scorecard to keep track.

Here’s one instant interviewers use:

This is not like going to your boss with a counteroffer, because you don’t have a vested interest in either job. You’re also not considered a traitor, since you have no obligation to either side.

It’s like going to an auction and watching yourself on the block.

Just instant interviewing away while your stock price is rising.

Now we’ll end this Do with a fable.

Interview Insight

I worked my way through college playing drums. Worked with some incredibly talented musicians, too. One was name Jedediah. He was one of those remarkable people who could play any instrument in any style, and had perfect pitch. (That means you’d say “E flat” and he’d hum, then walk over to the piano, plunk the E-flat key, and it would be the same—if the piano was tuned.)

Those piano keys were an extension of his fingers. Playing piano was as natural to him as writing a sentence. He was like an electric player piano. Brahms to boogie woogie. He also composed brilliant R&B music that would give you goosebumps. Jed played, recorded, but never really shared his gift. He would go from label to label. Every label wanted his work—but he would never sell it. The better the offer, the more he thought the recordings were worth.

One day I received the news that Jed died. I remember thinking that he must have had two graves—one for him and one for all those masters. His funeral was the last time that music played—forever. The world will never know what it missed.

The moral: Don’t Jedediah