Invisible man - Ralph Ellison [214]
I shook my head. The stars were there, high, high, revolving. Then I closed my eyes and they sailed red behind my lids; then somewhat steadied I took her arm.
"Look, Sybil," I said, "stand here a minute while I go over to Fifth for a taxi. Stand right here, dear, and hold on."
We tottered before an ancient-looking building, its windows dark. Huge Greek medallions showed in spots of light upon its façade, above a dark labyrinthine pattern in the stone, and I propped her against the stoop with its carved stone monster. She leaned there, her hair wild, looking at me in the street light, smiling. Her face kept swinging to one side, her right eye desperately closed.
"Sure, boo'ful, sure," she said.
"I'll be right back," I said, backing away.
"Boo'ful," she called, "My boo'ful."
Hear the true affection, I thought, the adoration of the Boogie Bear, moving away. Was she calling me beautiful or boogieful, beautiful or sublime . . . What'd either mean? I am invisible . . .
I went on through the late street quiet, hoping that a cab would pass before I had gone all the way. Up ahead at Fifth the lights were bright, a few cars shooting across the gaping mouth of the street and above and beyond, the trees -- great, dark, tall. What was going on, I pondered. Why call for me so late -- and who?
I hurried ahead, my feet unsteady.
"Booo'ful," she called behind me, "boooooo'ful!"
I waved without looking back. Never again, no more, no more. I went on.
At Fifth a cab passed and I tried to hail it, only to hear someone's voice arise, the sound floating gaily by. I looked up the lighted avenue for another, hearing suddenly the screech of brakes and turning to see the cab stop and a white arm beckoning. The cab reversed, rolled close, settling with a bounce. I laughed. It was Sybil. I stumbled forward, came to the door. She smiled out at me, her head, framed in the window, still pulling to one side, her hair waving down.
"Get in, boo'ful, 'n take me to Harlem . . ."
I shook my head, feeling it heavy and sad. "No," I said, "I've got work to do, Sybil. You'd better go home . . ."
"No, boo'ful, take me with you."
I turned to the driver, my hand upon the door. He was small, dark-haired and disapproving, a glint of red from the traffic light coloring the tip of his nose.
"Look," I said, "take her home."
I gave him the address and my last five-dollar bill. He took it, glumly disapproving.
"No, boo'ful," she said, "I want to go to Harlem, be with you!"
"Good night," I said, stepping back from the curb.
We were in the middle of the block and I saw them pull away.
"No," she said, "no, boo'ful. Don't leave . . ." Her face, wild-eyed and white, showed in the door. I stood there, watching him plunge swiftly and contemptuously out of sight, his tail light as red as his nose.
I walked with eyes closed, seeming to float and trying to clear my head, then opened them and crossed to the park side, along the cobbles. High above, the cars sailed round and round the drive, their headlights stabbing. All the taxies were hired, all going downtown. Center of gravity. I plodded on, my head awhirl.
Then near 110th Street I saw her again. She was waiting beneath a street lamp, waving. I wasn't surprised; I had become fatalistic. I came up slowly, hearing her laugh. She was ahead of me and beginning to run, barefoot, loosely, as in a dream. Running. Unsteadily but swift and me surprised and unable to catch up, lead-legged, seeing her ahead and calling, "Sybil, Sybil!" running lead-legged along the park side.
"Come on, boo'ful," she called, looking back and stumbling. "Catch Sybil . . . Sybil," running barefoot and girdleless along the park.
I ran, the brief case heavy beneath my arm. Something told me I had to get to the office . . . "Sybil, wait!" I called.
She ran, the colors of her dress flaring flamelike in the bright places of the dark. A rustling motion, legs working awkwardly beneath her and white heels flashing, her skirts held high. Let her go, I thought. But now she was crossing the