It's My Life - Melody Carlson [18]
“Well, she told me about doing something with Zach, but she didn't say much else.” And then Josh's face sort of fell, and I realized how rude that sounded. “But that's okay, Josh,” I said quickly. “You just took me by surprise. I think it's great that you're coming. Do you mind if I go change?”
“No, take your time. Beanie said we're going to do silly things like putt-par and bumper cars and stuff.” Of course, then Ben thought he should come too, and I almost agreed, but then I remembered the serious issues that Zach and I had talked about two nights before and I wanted him to have that kind of freedom tonight if he needed it. “How about another time, Ben?” I said honestly. And to my surprise this seemed to satisfy him.
So we picked up Zach, then Beanie, and although things seemed a little tense at first, it slowly loosened up. And in the bathroom at putt-par, Beanie told me how Zach had called her today and that they'd had a good, long talk. He'd apologized for everything and explained what had been going on with him the last few weeks. “He seems so changed,” she said. “I mean, kind of broken or humbled or something. And not necessarily in a bad way, although I wouldn't wish what he's gone through on anyone.” Then I reminded her that she'd been through quite a bit too. “Yeah,” she said kind of sadly. “It's too bad that some of us have to learn through our mistakes.”
“Well, at least you learn,” I said, thinking of how some people (her mom, for instance) never seem to figure it out at all.
We finally ended up at the Dairy Queen, eating these totally gross “designer” banana splits where we picked out all these weird toppings like caramel and blackberries. But we laughed a lot and felt like kids. Then Zach got kind of serious and thanked us all for caring enough about him to reach out to help. “Tonight, thanks to God and people who care, I think I'm going to make it,” he said. “But if you'd seen me just a week ago, you probably wouldn't have given me the time of day.”
And I have to admit that Zach did look like a different guy tonight, all cleaned and shaven (not the grunger I'd talked to just days ago). And although I'd like to think that his grunged-out appearance wouldn't have put me off, to be honest, if he'd been a perfect stranger looking like that, I probably would've turned around and looked the other way. And that bothers me a lot. And I'm sure that's not what Jesus would do. So I'd like to learn to look at people differently. Not to be so judgmental about outside appearances. Do you think that's possible? Can superficiality ever be completely exterminated? Can a girl who loves cool clothes and thick, glossy fashion magazines ever learn to accept people for who they really are underneath that veneer? I think, with God, I can. And that's my goal. But do you think I can possibly accomplish it before school starts in September?
Saturday, August 4 (friends and friends)
I really would've liked to sleep in this morning but had promised Andrea I'd give her a ride to another car wash fund-raiser. And I'd also invited Beanie, since she now must go to Mexico (remember our deal?). Anyway, I think Andrea was a little grumped out at me because I'd put her off a couple times last week (due to all the stuff with Beanie, which I felt was pretty serious and Andrea should understand). But now I think Andrea thinks she's in competition with Beanie (you know, the old grade school girlfriend triangle stuff), but fortunately Beanie seems to be above that kind of game playing. And I was just trying to be nice to everyone. Even Josh. And by the way, I did not wear my Hawaiian print bikini today (out of respect for Josh's feelings last time). Although Andrea wore hers and naturally managed to pull in a lot of traffic, and (I couldn't help but notice) Josh's glances as well. It figures. But just the same, I'm glad I didn't wear mine.
Just watching Andrea