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J.R. Ward the Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 1-4 - J. R. Ward [627]

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was Marissa burning. On fire. Helpless. In agony.

If it had been just him going for her, if Wrath hadn’t somehow seen what was happening and dematerialized right to her, she would be dead now.

Butch wouldn’t have been able to save her.

The thought naturally shot him right back to the past. With horrible precision, flashes of his sister getting in that car two and a half decades ago pinged around his skull. Shit, he hadn’t been able to save Janie, either. Hadn’t been able to pull her out of that Chevy Chevette in time.

Hell, maybe if Wrath had been around back then, the king could have rescued his sister, too.

Butch rubbed at his eyes, telling himself that the blurriness was just the aftereffects of all the smoke.

A half hour later, Marissa sat on the bed in the blue toile room, enveloped by a fog of mortification. Damn it, she’d taken her rule number one way too far.

“I’m so embarrassed.”

Wrath, who was standing in the doorway, shook his head. “You shouldn’t be.”

“Well, I am.” She tried to smile at him and missed the mark by a million miles. God, her face felt stiff, the skin tight from having been so close to all that heat. And her hair—her hair smelled like gas and smoke. So did the robe.

She shifted her eyes over to Butch. He was out in the hall, leaning back against the wall. He hadn’t said a thing since appearing there a few minutes ago and he didn’t look like he was coming into the room, either. He probably thought she was crazy. Hell, she thought she was crazy.

“I don’t know why I did that.”

“You’re under a lot of stress,” Wrath said, even though he wasn’t the one she was looking at.

“That’s no excuse.”

“Marissa, don’t take this the wrong way, but no one cares. We want you safe and well. We could give a shit about the lawn.”

When she just stared past Wrath at Butch, the king glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, I think I’ll leave you two alone. Try and get some z’s, okay?”

As Wrath turned around, Butch said something that didn’t carry. In response, the king clapped a hand to the back of the man’s neck. More quiet words were shared.

After Wrath left, Butch came forward, but only as far as the doorway. “You going to be all right?”

“Ah, yes. After I have a shower.” And a lobotomy.

“Okay. I’m going back to the Pit.”

“Butch…I’m sorry I did what I did. It was just…I couldn’t find one gown that wasn’t contaminated with memories.”

“I can understand that.” Except clearly he didn’t. He looked completely numb, as if he’d unplugged himself from everything. Especially her. “So…take care of yourself, Marissa.”

She leaped to her feet as he backed away. “Butch?”

“You don’t worry about anything.”

What the hell did that mean?

She started to go after him, but Beth appeared in the doorway with a bundle in her hands. “Um, hi, you guys…Marissa, you have a minute?”

“Butch, don’t go.”

He nodded a greeting to Beth, then looked down the hall. “I need to sober up.”

“Butch,” Marissa said sharply, “are you saying good-bye here?”

He flashed her a haunting smile. “You’re always going to be with me, baby.”

He walked away slowly, like the floor was slippery under his feet.

Oh…Jesus…

Beth cleared her throat. “So, yeah, Wrath suggested you might like some clothes? I brought a few things if you’d like to try them on.”

Marissa was desperate to go after Butch, but she’d already made a spectacle of herself tonight and he looked like he was in serious need of a break from the drama. Boy…she knew exactly how he felt, except for her there was no escape. Everywhere she went, there she was.

She looked at Beth, feeling like this was quite possibly the single worst twenty-four hours of her life. “Did Wrath mention that I burned my entire wardrobe?”

“Um…that did come up.”

“I also left a crater in the lawn. It looks like a UFO landed. I can’t believe he isn’t upset with me.”

The queen’s smile was gentle. “The only thing he’s not thrilled about is your giving Fritz that bracelet to sell.”

“I can’t have you two renting me somewhere to live.”

“As a matter of fact, we wish you would just stay here.”

“Oh…no, you’ve already been

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