J.R. Ward the Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 1-4 - J. R. Ward [628]
Which would be everything.
Beth frowned. “About that rental house. Wrath wants Vishous to check out the security system before you move in. And chances are good that V will want to upgrade whatever is there.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary—”
“Nonnegotiable. Don’t even try it. Wrath wants you to stay here at least until that’s done, okay? Marissa?”
She thought about Bella getting abducted. As much as independence was a good thing, there was no reason to be stupid. “Yes…I…all right. Thank you.”
“So would you like to try on some clothes?” Beth nodded at what was in her arms. “I don’t have many dresses, but Fritz can get you some.”
“You know what?” Marissa eyed the blue jeans the queen had on. “I’ve never worn a pair of pants before.”
“I’ve got two pairs here if you want to try them out.”
Well, wasn’t this a night for firsts. Sex. Arson. Pants. “I think I would like to…”
Except Marissa burst into tears. Just totally lost it. And the meltdown was so bad, all she could do was sit on the bed and weep.
When Beth shut the door and knelt in front of her, Marissa wiped up quickly. What a nightmare. “You are queen. You shouldn’t be before me like this.”
“I’m the queen, so I can do anything I want.” Beth put the clothes aside. “What’s wrong?”
Yeah, now there was a list.
“Marissa?”
“I think…I think I might need someone to talk to.”
“Well, you have someone right here. You want to give me a shot?”
God, there was so much, but one thing mattered more than all the rest. “Fair warning, my queen, this is about an improper subject. Sex, actually. It’s about…sex.”
Beth eased back and arranged her long legs yoga style. “Hit me.”
Marissa opened her mouth. Shut it. Opened it. “I was taught not to speak of this kind of thing.”
Beth smiled. “Just you and me in this room. No one has to know.”
Okay…deep breath time. “Ah…I was a virgin. Up until tonight.”
“Oh.” After a long pause, the queen said, “And?”
“I didn’t…”
“Like it?” When she couldn’t respond, Beth said, “I wasn’t into it my first time, either.”
Marissa looked up. “Really?”
“It was painful.”
“You hurt, too?” When the female nodded, Marissa was stunned. Then a little relieved. “It wasn’t all painful. I mean, what led up to it was…is amazing. Butch makes me…he’s just so…the way he touches me, I get…Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m talking like this. And I can’t explain what it’s like with him.”
Beth chuckled. “That’s all right. I know what you mean.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah.” The queen’s dark blue eyes glowed. “I know exactly what you mean.”
Marissa smiled, then went back to the talking. “When it was time to…you know, when it happened, Butch was really gentle and all. And I wanted to like it, I honestly did. I was just overwhelmed and it was very painful. I think there’s something wrong with me. Inside.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Marissa.”
“But I…it really hurt.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach. “Butch said most females have a difficult time with it in the beginning, but I just didn’t…That’s certainly not what the glymera says.”
“No offense, because you’re a part of the aristocracy, but I wouldn’t take the glymera’s word on anything.”
The queen probably had a point. “How did you get through it with Wrath when you…ah…”
“My first time wasn’t with him.”
“Oh.” Marissa flushed red. “Pardon me, I didn’t mean—”
“No problem. Actually I didn’t like sex until Wrath. I’d been with two guys before him and just…whatever. I mean, I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Frankly, though, even if Wrath had been my first, it probably wouldn’t have been any easier given the size of his—” Now the queen was flushing. “Anyway…you know, sex is an invasion for the woman. Erotic and wonderful, but an invasion just the same, and it takes a little getting used to. And for some, the first time is quite painful. Butch will be patient with you. He’ll—”
“He didn’t finish.