Judy Moody Goes to College - Megan Mcdonald [10]
“I feel like a flamingo,” said Stink. “Or a dorky stork.”
“No talking,” said Judy. She squeezed her eyes tighter.
CRASH! When Judy opened her eyes, the boys were a jumble of arms and legs on the ground, and they were laughing their pants off.
“Octopus pose!” said Stink, his legs sticking in the air.
“For your 411, there’s no such thing as an octopus pose.”
Judy closed her eyes again and tried to hear quiet, but all she could hear was more thrashing and crashing. She opened her eyes again.
Rocky had his neck stretched up to the ceiling. Frank had bendy knees and arms out like a monster. And Stink was all in a twisty ball.
“Giraffe pose,” said Rocky.
“Superhero pose,” said Frank.
“Human Pretzel pose,” said Stink, cracking up.
“P.U.!” said Rocky, waving his hand in front of his face. “You should call that Passing Gas pose.” The boys went cuckoo.
“Oh, brother,” said Judy. Boys were just plain no good at peace-full yoga.
When Judy got to Class 3T-now-3G the next morning, there was no teacher in the room. No teacher? No math candy on the desk? No attitude tent? Something was up. Way up!
The whole room was buzzing about what might have happened to Mrs. Grossman. She went camping in her attitude tent? She ate too much good-behavior candy? She ran away to Italy to be a better teacher?
Soon the bell rang. Still no teacher.
“Somebody has to be the teacher,” said Jessica Finch, “and I think it should be me, since I’m smartest.”
“But Judy Moody’s been to college!” yelled Frank.
“And she learned cool stuff,” said Rocky, “like how to make yourself into a cat or a chair or a tree.”
“Ju-dy Moo-dy! Ju-dy Moo-dy!” The class started yelling and stomping their feet.
She, Professor Judy Moody, stood in front of the whole class and told them all about college. She told about dorm rooms and drums, veggie burgers and vending machines. She told about pancakes and pop art and peace tents. She led the whole class in a tree pose.
“And they learn Floss-O-Fee. It’s not about cleaning your teeth. It’s about thinking stuff till your head hurts, kind of like a brainteaser but more like a major head-scratcher.”
“Like what?” asked Frank.
“Like . . . if a tree falls in the forest, okay, but nobody is around for miles and miles to hear it, does it still make a sound?”
The whole class got quiet. Peace-full quiet. Yoga-not-yogurt quiet. The whole class was lost in a head-scratching attitude of thinking.
Just then, Judy caught a glimpse of something in the hallway. Something like a shadow. The shadow moved. The shadow was . . .
“MR. TODD!” Judy yelled, breaking the head-scratching silence. “Look, everybody! Professor Todd is back!”
“Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd!”
“Can I try your crutches?”
“Where’s Mrs. Grossman?”
“She gave us candy.”
“Except Judy, who had to sit in a tent all by herself.”
When Class 3T-not-3G had settled down, Mr. Todd told them about his broken foot and going to the doctor’s and being late. He showed them his cast, and all the kids got to sign it.
“I’m very proud of you, class, for the way you took over until I got here. And Judy, you’ll have to let me in on your secret,” said Mr. Todd. “I don’t know how you got this class to be so quiet.”
“It’s college thinking!” said Frank. “Judy Moody goes to college AND third grade now.”
They told Mr. Todd everything about Mrs. Grossman and the tutor and going to college. They told him about multistep word problems and math candy and the Attitude Tent.
Mr. Todd smiled and frowned and raised his eyebrows and pushed up his glasses. “I sure missed a lot these last few weeks. Tell you what.” Mr. Todd glanced at his watch. “Looks like we missed Spelling for today. So let’s take a short recess, and when we come back, it’ll be time for math. I’m going to pass out a quick quiz —”
“Not a test!”
“Don’t worry. You won’t be graded. I just want to see where everybody is in math.”
“Aww,” everybody groaned. Everybody except Judy. She wanted to take the quiz. She wanted to show Mr. Todd all the