Judy Moody Goes to College - Megan Mcdonald [3]
Judy got to make a mountain of money and get married and buy a house and a high-def TV and learn sign language and find buried treasure and go to the Grand Canyon and help the homeless, and not once did a tree fall on her, not even a mid-life crisis.
“I love Life!” said Judy.
“You beat the pants off me,” said Chloe.
“Speaking of pants,” said Judy, “can I ask you a question? Why are you wearing a dress and pants?”
“It’s my thing,” said Chloe. “It’s the artist in me.”
“Is that why you wear flip-flops and have holes in your jeans and a flower tattoo and dyed-red hair and seven pierces?” Judy asked.
“Um, I guess so,” said Chloe.
“Crucial!” said Judy.
On the way back to the Math Lab, Chloe and Judy cut through the parking lot. “Look at all the VW Beetles!” said Judy. “One green, two reds, blue, yellow. My brother would go punch-buggy crazy!”
“So you like VW bugs?” Chloe asked. “Mine’s the green one, right over there. They call that color Gecko Green. I call her June Bug, because I got her last June.”
“For serious? Sweet! It even has a real flower vase on the dashboard. Hey, did you know you’re growing a toothbrush in your flower vase?” Judy cracked up.
“Tell you what,” said Chloe. “Let’s count all the Beetles in the parking lot and write down how many we can find of each color. Then we’ll go back to the lab and I’ll show you how to make a graph.”
Judy raced around the parking lot, counting lots of red, blue, yellow, and green bugs. Only two silver Beetles and one gray. “The gray one looks like a robot!” said Judy.
Back at the Math Lab, Judy made a graph and colored in squares for each kind of Beetle. Salsa Red, Laser Blue, Sunflower Yellow. . . . Judy forgot all about the time.
“Richard’s here,” said Chloe, nodding toward the door.
“Who’s Richard?” Judy looked up and saw her dad standing in the doorway. “Is an hour up already?” she asked. “You were only gone for like a giga-flip-flop-second. Can’t you stay away a little longer?”
“Having fun with math, huh?”
“I’m learning to make a graph, and when we’re done, Chloe says I can hang it on the wall. It’ll be graph-iti!”
Judy could not wait to go back to college — three times a week! Getting tutored was crucial. Rare squared!
In just two short weeks, Judy had a brand-new lease on life.
She, Judy Moody, sashayed into the kitchen one morning before school. She was wearing a dress on top of jeans ripped at the knee, a teeny-tiny hoodie sweatshirt, monkey flip-flops, a crazy scarf, skinny glasses, half a gross of bracelets, and tattoo Band-Aids.
“She must be in a play,” said Stink.
“That’s ridonkulus,” said Judy. “Unless you mean the play of life.”
“How many shirts are you wearing?” Stink asked.
“Is that my scarf?” Mom asked.
“I’m dressing for college,” said Judy. “I have tutoring after school today, Kate.” Chloe called grown-ups by their first names, so Judy tried it.
“It’s too cold for flip-flops,” Mom said, frowning.
“And you’ll need a coat,” Dad added.
Parents. Parental Units. The ’Rents. Kate and Richard were so old skool. “College kids don’t wear coats!” said Judy.
“What do they wear?” asked Stink.
“They wear whatever’s their thing,” said Judy.
“So your thing is to dress like a clown?” Stink asked.
Eesh! What an NCP. Nincompoop.
“How’s it going with Chloe, by the way?” Mom asked.
“Chloe is the bomb! She drives a green gecko Beetle called June Bug and has fake red hair and a toe ring and seven pierces.”
“Nobody needs that many extra holes in their head,” said Dad.
“What a Swiss Cheese Head!” said Stink. “I already have seven holes in my head. Two eyes plus two ears plus two nostrils plus one mouth equals seven.”
“Does this Chloe know any math?” Mom asked.
“Does this Chloe have any flash cards?” asked Stink.
“For your information, we don’t use flash cards,” said Judy. “But we do play Multiplication Bingo and Tic-Tac-Cookie