Judy Moody Goes to College - Megan Mcdonald [4]
“I don’t see what a sponge named Turd Ferguson has to do with math,” said Stink. “Right, Mom? Right, Dad?”
Fact of Life: Stink = annoying!
“Stink, it’s sponge blocks. They were invented by a kid. See, you add up all the lines and angles, and it makes a polygon. You can use triangles, rectangles, and squares, too.” Mom raised her eyebrows at Dad. Dad raised his eyebrows at Mom.
“Aw,” said Stink. “Can I go to college, too?”
Judy ignored him. “Chloe says you can’t be afraid of math,” she told Kate and Richard. “You just have to practice, like piano, or soccer. And you can’t give up. And you have to remember to have fun.”
“Well, I like your attitude,” said Mom.
“You mean my math-i-tude,” said Judy, cracking herself up. “Chloe says math is everywhere. Math is life.”
“Then you better get going,” said Mom. “Don’t want to be late for life.”
On the way to school, Judy asked a question of her Ask-a-Question Watch 5000.
Will Mr. Todd be back today? She pressed the green button.
DON’T KNOW.
She tried again. Will Mr. Todd be back today?
CAN’T TELL.
She tried a third time. Will Mr. Todd be back today?
NO WAY!
When she got to school, she raced down the hall to her classroom. No Mr. Todd. No fair.
Mrs. Not-So-Great Grossman did not seem to appreciate Judy’s new math-is-everywhere take on life. To make things even worse, she told the class that Mr. Todd broke his foot in Italy. (Probably from dancing the tarantella.) Mr. Todd would not be coming back for two more weeks.
As for the peeps, well, her friends were so UN-college. When they saw Judy’s new outfit, they thought she was a scarecrow.
“What happened to your knees?” asked Rocky.
“Did you fall off your bike and rip your pants?” Frank asked.
“You must hurt bad — look at all those Band-Aids,” said Amy Namey.
“Tattoos,” Judy muttered.
“It’s just a phase,” said Rocky. “Like when she wore her pajamas to school.”
“And her doctor coat,” said Frank.
“And her pilgrim dress,” said Jessica Finch.
“For your information,” Judy pointed out, “kids in college wear pajama pants to class all the time. It’s rad.”
“It’s red?” Rocky asked.
“It’s rude?” Frank asked.
Sometimes third-graders were such NCPs.
“What stuff do you do with your tutor?” Amy asked.
“College stuff,” said Judy. “We talk about algebra, and —”
“Algebra?!” said Jessica Finch. “Even I don’t know algebra.”
“It’s no biggie. When I hang out with my college friend, I get to drink coffee and drive a car and talk on a cell phone.”
“Whoa squared,” said Amy Namey.
“Exactly,” said Judy.
“You drink coffee?” asked Rocky.
“Actually, it’s hot chocolate. But I do get to drink it at a coffee shop and order it and pay for it myself and count the change.”
“Wow!” said Frank.
“No way did you drive a car,” said Rocky.
“Yah-huh,” said Judy. “No lie.”
“You’d have to sit on like three phone books,” said Frank.
“And get a license,” said Jessica Finch.
“I got to drive a car in the Game of Life,” said Judy.
“Oh,” said Rocky. Amy and Jessica rolled their eyes.
“Judy does know how to drive,” said Frank. “She’s driving . . . us crazy!” Everybody cracked up.
At morning recess, Judy faked a call on her candy cell phone. During Science, Judy drew a cartoon of Mrs. Grossman out of polygons.
At lunchtime, Judy said, “Let’s food!” and waited in the lunch line with her peeps. When it was her turn, she stepped up to the window and said to the lunch lady, “I’ll have a small-tall upside-down backward nonfat capp, extra whip. And make it wet.”
“Aren’t all drinks wet?” asked Frank.
“We don’t have coffee,” said the lunch lady.
“Hot chocolate?” Judy asked. But all they had was chocolate milk. Bor-ing. “At college, you can get hot chocolate with a heart design in the foam on top. And you can get sprinkles.”
“Oh, really?” said the lunch lady.
“How many kinds of cereal do you have here?” Judy asked.
“None. We don’t have any cereal. It’s lunch.”
“At college, you can have breakfast all day. Even