Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business - Barbara Park [3]
Her name is Mrs.
She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that’s all.
When I first walked into my room, Lucille was looking at that Grace’s brand new shoes. And their name was pink high tops.
“Hey, Grace! Those new shoes look very beautiful on you!” I said.
But that dumb Grace didn’t even say thank you to me.
“Grace is angry at you,” said Lucille. “She said that she rode the bus today. And you weren’t even there to save her a seat. And she had to sit next to an icky kid. Right, Grace?”
Grace bobbed her head up and down.
“Yes, only I couldn’t help it, Grace,” I said. “That’s because I stayed at my grampa Miller’s all night. And there’s no bus at that place. And so he had to drive me here today.”
Then I tried to hold that Grace’s hand. Only she quick pulled it away.
“That’s not very nice of you, Grace,” I said. “And so guess what? Now I’m not going to tell you my special secret.”
That’s when that Grace called me a poopy head.
Lucille held my hand. “I don’t think you’re a poopy head, Junie B.,” she said. “And so you can tell me your special secret. And I won’t tell anybody. Not even Grace.”
That’s when that Grace kicked Lucille in the leg.
And so Lucille pushed her down.
And Mrs. had to come pull them off each other.
I raised my hand very polite. “I wasn’t involved,” I said to Mrs.
After that, we had to sit down and do some work. It was called printing our numbers. Only I couldn’t do mine that good. Because Lucille kept on talking to me, that’s why.
“Come on, Junie B.,” she said in her whispering voice. “Tell me your special secret. I won’t tell. I promise.”
“Yes, only I can’t, Lucille,” I said. “’Cause no talking to your neighbor, remember?”
Then Mrs. snapped her fingers at me.
“SEE, LUCILLE? I TOLD YOU NO TALKING TO YOUR NEIGHBOR!” I hollered. “NOW I GOT SNAPPED AT!”
Just then a boy named Jim said, “Shush,” to me.
“Shush yourself, you big fat Jim,” I said back.
After that, Mrs. stood next to me till I finished my work. Then I got all done and she collected it.
That made me happy inside. Because guess what comes after work? Something very fun, that’s what!
And its name is Show and Tell.
Mrs. stood next to her desk. “Who has something interesting to share with the class today?” she said.
Then my heart got very pumpy. Because I had the most special secret in the whole wide world!
I raised my hand way high in the air.
“OOOOOH! OOOOOH!” I hollered real loud. “ME! ME! ME!”
Mrs. shook her head at me. Because I’m not supposed to go oooooh, oooooh, me, me, me.
She called on William. He is a cry-baby boy in my class. I can beat him up, I think.
“William?” said Mrs. “Since you raised your hand so politely, you may go first.”
And so then William carried a paper bag to the front of the room. And he took out a jar of two dead crickets.
Except for William didn’t know they were dead. He just thought they were sleeping.
“Jump, Hoppy! Jump, Russell!” said William.
Then he tapped on the glass.
“Hey! Wake up in there!” he said.
After that, William started shaking the jar all over the place. And he wouldn’t stop.
“WAKE UP, I SAID!” he shouted.
Then Hoppy and Russell started falling all apart. And Mrs. had to take the jar away.
That’s when William started to cry. And he had to go to the nurse’s office to lie down.
And so then I raised my hand way high in the air again.
Because guess what? My Show and Tell was way better than two dead crickets!
5/Monkey Business
Mrs. called my name.
“Junie B.? Would you like to go next?” she asked.
Then I jumped right up. And I ran speedy fast to the front of the room.
“Guess what?” I said very excited. “Last night my mother had a baby! And it’s the boy kind!”
Mrs. clapped her hands.
“Junie B. Jones has a new little brother, everyone!” she said. “Isn’t that wonderful?”
Then all of Room Nine clapped, too.
“Yes, only you haven’t even heard the bestest part yet!” I said very loud. “Because guess what else? He’s a MONKEY! That’s what else! My new brother is a real, alive, baby MONKEY!!!”
Mrs. got a funny look on her face.