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“I SAID I’VE GOT A MONKEY BROTHER!” I shouted real louder.

Then that mean Jim jumped right up from his desk. And he hollered, “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

“No they are not on fire, you big fat Jim!” I said back. “I do too have a monkey brother! You can ask my grandma Miller if you don’t believe me!”

Mrs. raised her eyebrows way high on her head.

“Your grandmother told you that your brother is a monkey?” she asked me.

“Yes!” I said. “She told me he has long fingers and long toes. And lots of black fur all over himself!”

After that, Mrs. kept on looking and looking at me. Then she said it was time for me to sit down.

“Yeah, only I’m not done telling the children about my monkey brother yet,” I explained.

“’Cause guess what else? His wallpaper has pictures of his jungle friends on it. And his bed has bars on the sides. But I’m going to teach him not to bite or kill people.”

Then this boy named Ricardo—who has cute freckles on his face—said, “Monkeys are cool,” to me.

“I know they are cool, Ricardo,” I said. “And guess what else? Maybe I can bring him to school on Pet Day.”

Then Ricardo smiled at me. And so he might be my boyfriend, I think. Except for there’s a boy in Room Eight who already loves me.

Just then, Mrs. stood up and pointed at me.

“That’s enough, Junie B.,” she said. “I want you to sit down now. You and I will talk about this monkey business later.”

And so that made me giggle. Because monkey business is a funny word, I think.

Then I waved good-bye to my new boyfriend, Ricardo.

And I skipped back to my seat.

6/Bestest Friends

Recess is my best subject. I learned it my first week at school.

Recess is when you go outside. And you run off your steam.

Then when you come in, you can sit still better. And you don’t have ants in your pants.

At recess, me and Lucille and that Grace play horses together.

I’m Brownie. Lucille is Blackie. And that Grace is Yellowie.

“I’M BROWNIE!” I hollered as soon as I got outside.

“I don’t want to play horses today,” said Lucille. “I want to know some more about your monkey brother.”

“Me, too,” said that Grace.

Then Lucille pushed that Grace out of the way. And she whispered a secret in my ear.

“If you let me be the first one to see him, I’ll let you wear my new locket,” she said.

“Yeah. Only guess what, Lucille?” I said. “I don’t even know what a dumb locket is.”

And so then Lucille showed me her locket. It was a little gold heart on a chain.

“Isn’t it beauteous?” she said. “My nanna gave it to me for my birthday.”

Then she opened up the little heart. And there was a little bitty picture inside of that thing!

“Hey! There’s a teeny head in there!” I said very excited.

“I know,” said Lucille. “That’s my nanna. See her?”

I squinted very hard at the little picture.

“Your nanna is a shrimpie, Lucille,” I said.

After that, Lucille closed the locket. And she gave it to me.

“Now I’m your best friend, right, Junie B.?” she said. “And so I can be the first one to see your monkey brother!”

Just then, that Grace stomped her foot very hard.

“No you cannot, Lucille!” she hollered. “I’m her best friend! ’Cause me and her ride the bus together. And so I get to see her monkey brother first. Right, Junie B.? Right? Right?”

I made my shoulders go up and down.

“I don’t know, Grace,” I said. “’Cause Lucille just gave me this locket with the teeny nanna. And so that means she gets to go first, I think.”

That Grace stomped her foot again. She made a mad face at me.

“Pooey!” she said.

Except for just then I got a great idea!

“Hey! Guess what, Grace?” I said very excited. “Since Lucille gave me something beautiful, now you can give me something beautiful, too! And so that would be very fair of me, I think!”

Then that Grace started smiling. And she took off her sparkly new ring.

“Here!” she said. “I got it out of cereal this morning! See how shiny the stone is? That’s because it’s a real genuine fake plastic diamond.”

Then she put some breath on it. And she shined