Junie B. Jones and That Meanie Jim's Birthday - Barbara Park [9]
Mother hollered some more.
“JUNIE B.? COULD YOU BRING ME THE TOOL BELT, PLEASE? I NEED TO GET IT WRAPPED!”
“Darn it,” I said again.
’Cause I didn’t even want to give that to him.
I looked down at it.
I touched all the wonderful tools.
“I love this darned thing,” I said real sad.
“I’M WAITING!” shouted Mother.
But I still didn’t take it to her.
Just then, I heard the bath water turn off.
My heart got very pumpy.
“Oh no!” I said. “’Cause now she’s gonna come get me! And she will take my tool belt away! And she will wrap it up for that meanie guy!”
I jumped off my bed and runned around my room.
“I gotta hide! I gotta hide!”
I runned all over everywhere.
“Darn it! ’Cause there’s not even a good hiding place in this dumb room!” I said.
“JUNIE B.!” Mother screamed.
I heard her feet!
They were coming for me, I think!
“Oh no!” I said. “Oh no! Oh no!”
Then all of a sudden, I quick grabbed my wonderful tool belt!
And I zoomed to my door!
And I nailed that thing shut with my hammer!
9/The Only One in Room Nine
Mother runned into my room.
She pushed right through my nails.
“JUNIE B. JONES! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?” she shouted.
She looked at my door.
Her eyes got very bulging.
“YOU WERE HAMMERING?” she yelled. “YOU WERE HAMMERING NAILS???…IN YOUR DOOR?”
Just then Daddy runned in, too.
“WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET A HAMMER?” he yelled.
“Tell him, Junie B.! Tell your father where you got the hammer!” growled Mother.
I pointed at her.
“She gave it to me,” I said.
Just then, steam came out of Mother’s head.
“NO! I DID NOT GIVE YOU THAT HAMMER, JUNIE B.! THAT HAMMER WAS FOR JIM! AND YOU KNOW IT!”
After that, Mother picked me up. And she sat me on my bed. And she growled more mad words at me.
They were…I cannot be trusted to have a real actual hammer. And I cannot be trusted to have a real actual tool belt. And I am never ever allowed to have nails until I am all grown up and I live in my own apartment.
Daddy walked up and down in front of me.
“Why, Junie B.? Why would you do such a thing? Why would you ever nail your door shut?” he said.
I started to cry a little bit.
“Because,” I said.
“Because why?” he grouched.
“Because I felt pressure inside me,” I said. “Because that party is ruining my whole entire Saturday. Because first I had to shop. And then Mother said I had to get a bath and wash my hair. Only I don’t even like that meanie head boy. And so how come I have to get clean and give him that wonderful tool belt? ’Cause what kind of deal is that?”
Mother did an angry breath.
“This was your decision, Junie B.,” she said. “You’re the one who wanted to go to the party. No one is making you do it.”
I wiped my nose on my sweater sleeve.
“Yeah, only if I don’t go, I will be the only one in Room Nine,” I said. “And that is the saddest story I ever heard of.”
Daddy sat down next to me.
“Why?” he said. “Why is it sad to spend your Saturday the way you want to spend it? Why is it sad to spend the day having fun, instead of wasting it on a boy you don’t like?”
Mother sat down, too.
“That doesn’t sound sad to me,” said Mother. “That sounds good, in fact.”
“No, that does not sound good,” I said very snapping. “What is so good about being the only one?”
Daddy did his shoulders up and down.
“Lots of things,” he said. “Like you’ll be the only one who doesn’t have to take a bath. Have you ever thought of that?”
“And you’ll be the only one who doesn’t have to wash her hair,” said Mother.
“And,” said Daddy, “you’ll be the only one in Room Nine who doesn’t have to give Jim a present. How ’bout that one? Huh?”
I sat up a little bit straighter.
’Cause that one was excellent, that’s why.
Mother ruffled my hair.
“And what about Grampa Miller?” she asked. “You haven’t forgotten that he invited you to his house today, have you?”
Just then, my whole mouth came open.
’Cause I did forget about that!
“The toilet!” I said. “I forgot about the toilet! ’Cause me and Grampa were going to fix that thing! And we were going to touch that big