Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy - Barbara Park [4]
But he kept on scratching and scratching.
I opened the door a teeny crack.
“I said to go away. Don’t you even understand language?”
Only too bad for me. ’Cause Tickle springed right up. And he knocked open the door. And he runned into my room.
He zoomed around and around in circles.
Then finally, he got dizzy and pooped. And he flopped on my rug.
I looked closer at that fellow.
“Hmm,” I said. “Your fur is kind of tangly and matty. Only I never actually noticed that before.”
I tapped on my chin.
“Maybe you should come to my beauty shop for a trim. ’Cause I already had practice. And so I can do better this time, I believe.”
I did more thinking.
“Hey, yeah! And here’s another good thing. Dog fur grows back. Right, Tickle? And so what do we have to lose? That’s what I would like to know!”
I zoomed to my desk and got my shiny scissors.
Then I hurried back to Tickle.
And I gave him a hug.
And I trimmed his tangly, matty fur.
6/The Trouble with Tickle
Tickle did not turn out that professional.
His fur was choppy and moppish. Plus his tail was a teeny stubby.
I tried to push him under my bed. But he wouldn’t even go.
“Yeah, only you have to go under there, Tickle. Or else Mother and Daddy will see your fur. And I will be in trouble.”
Just then, I heard feet walking in the hall.
Oh no!
It was Mother!
She was home from work!
I runned around real upset.
“Hide, Tickle! Hide! Hide!” I said.
Just then, I saw my fuzzy pink sweater!
I grabbed it out of my closet and throwed it on Tickle speedy fast!
Also, I grabbed my favorite hat with the devil horns. And I plopped it on his head.
All of a sudden, Mother opened my door.
I backed up from her.
“H-h-hello,” I said kind of nervous. “How are you today? I am fine. Plus Tickle is fine, too.”
I did a gulp.
“He is wearing clothes, apparently,” I said.
Just then, Mother walked to Tickle real slow. And she took off his hat.
That is how come I quick runned out of my room. And down the hall. And outside into the yard.
’Cause I didn’t want to be there when the sweater came off, of course!
Mother chased me all over my yard.
That woman is speedier than she looks.
She caught me by my arm and marched me into the house.
After that, she sat me in a chair. And she said my goose is cooked, young lady.
Goose is cooked means that your goose is in big trouble. Only I don’t actually have a goose. Only that was not the time to mention it, probably.
Just then, my Daddy came home from work.
Mother tattletaled to him about Tickle.
Then both of them hollered a lecture at me.
It was called What in the World Has Gotten into Me, Young Lady? Do I Not Even Have Good Sense? And Do They Have to Watch Me Every Single Minute?
After they finished yelling, Mother put me in my room. And she took away my scissors forever.
And here’s the worstest part of all.
After dinner I had to take a bath and go right back to bed.
Mother kissed me on my cheek.
It was not that sincere.
“Yeah, only I am not even tired yet,” I said. “And so maybe I should watch Wheel of Fortune, perhaps.”
Mother shook her head.
“No way. No TV,” she said. “If you’re not tired, you can lie here and think about what you did today.”
After that, she shut my door and walked away.
I did a huffy breath at her.
“Yeah, only I don’t even have to think about what I did today. ’Cause I already thinked about it, that’s why,” I whispered to just myself.
Then I did a teeny smile.
“And guess what else? I think I am making progress.”
7/The Terriblest Trouble
The next morning I was very cheered up.
’Cause I knew what went wrong with Tickle!
Tickle has dog hair! And dog hair is harder to cut than people hair! ’Cause people hair is much more tamer!
I runned to the mirror and looked at my people hair.
“I bet I can cut this kind of hair just perfect,” I said.
Just then, I heard the front door open.
It was my grampa Frank Miller! He was here to babysit me before school.
I runned and kissed that guy hello.
Then I zoomed right back to my room. And I hollered a message down the hall.
“DON’T GOME IN