Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy - Barbara Park [5]
After that, I shut my door real tight. And I hurried to my desk.
’Cause guess what?
Extra scissors! That’s what!
They were in my middle drawer where I keep them.
I opened and closed them real fast.
Then I skipped to my dresser.
And I combed my bangs silky smooth.
And I snipped their ends right off!
I peeked at myself kind of nervous.
And guess what?
I wasn’t even ruined!
I smiled real thrilled.
“I knew I could do this! I knew it! I knew it! All I needed was practice!”
After that, I snipped some more bangs. Plus, I snipped some sides. And some top. And some back.
After I was finished, I looked in the mirror again.
I did a teeny frown.
“Hmm. My bangs do not look even-steven,” I said.
That’s how come I tried to even them up.
Only those dumb things kept getting tiltier and tiltier.
Finally, I got fusstration inside me. And I took a whole big hunk. And I cut them right off.
“Ha ha! So there!” I said.
I put down my scissors and looked at myself.
I did a gasp.
Oh no! My hair was sticking out all over the place!
“Sprigs!” I said. “I got sprigs!”
That’s how come I started to cry. ’Cause sprigs are shortie little sticklets. And they are not attractive, I tell you.
Just then, I heard a knock on my door.
“Junie B., honey? You all right in there?” asked my grampa. “Okay if I come in?”
“NO! NOT OKAY!” I hollered. “I AM STILL GETTING DRESSED! AND SO PLEASE GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!”
Grampa Miller laughed.
“Okay, okay. I get the message,” he said. “I’ll go make you a sandwich. You’d better hurry up, though. I’ve got to do some errands, so I’m driving you to school today.”
His feet walked back to the kitchen.
I sat down on my bed real upset.
’Cause sprigs is the terriblest trouble I ever even saw.
8/Hats
I didn’t know what to do.
How could I even go to school? ’Cause everyone would see my sprigs! And they would laugh and laugh!
That is how come I couldn’t stop crying.
Only all of a sudden, a miracle happened. And it is called I spotted my hat with the devil horns.
It was sitting on my desk right where Mother left it. And that hat gave me a good idea!
I quick picked it up and put it on my head.
And guess what?
It hided my sprigs!
“Hey! If I wear this to school, no one will even see my hair!” I said real relieved.
Only just then, I did a teeny frown.
“Yeah, only what if I’m playing on the playground…and somebody steals my devil horn hat off my head? Then everyone will see my sprigs. And they will laugh and laugh.”
I thought real hard.
“Hmm,” I said. “Maybe I can wear two hats. That way, if somebody pulls off one hat, I will still have another hat left.”
I spotted my shower cap. It was lying on my chair.
I put it on under my hat.
“Yeah, only what if I’m playing on the playground…and somebody pulls off my devil horn hat…and then they pull off my shower cap, too? Then everyone will see my sprigs. And they will laugh and laugh.”
I tapped on my chin.
“Three hats!” I said. “I will wear three hats to school! ’Cause that will give me a whole extra hat of protection!”
I opened my bottom drawer and found my ski mask. ’Cause ski masks hide your whole entire everything!
I put the ski mask on my head. Then I put on my shower cap. And my hat with the devil horns.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Now nobody can see anything! Not even my nose!”
After that, I got dressed. And I skipped real happy to the kitchen.
Grampa Miller’s eyes popped out at me.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can’t go to school looking like that,” he said.
That’s how come I had to tell him a teensy beansy fib.
“Yeah, only today is crazy hat day. And my teacher said we can wear however many hats we want,” I said.
Grampa Miller scratched his head.
Then he watched me eat my sandwich through my mouth hole.
And he drove me to school.
I skipped into Room Nine very joyful.
I sat down at my table next to Lucille.
“Hello,” I said. “It’s me. It’s Junie B. Jones. See me, Lucille? See me? I am wearing an attractive hat