Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren - Barbara Park [6]
“And what about this golden crown I am wearing? It is from a real actual Dairy Queen! Plus, also I have red velvet bows on my sneakers! And Mother even drew lightning on their sides. Just like yours!”
I twirled all around.
“Just wait till Handsome Warren gets a load of me now! Right, Grace? Now that guy will have to love me! ’Cause who wouldn’t?”
Grace slumped down in her seat.
She didn’t talk the whole rest of the way to school.
And guess what else? When the bus got to school, she didn’t even wait for me again.
She ran right straight to Handsome Warren without me.
I tried to race her. But my collar of jewels scratched my neck. Plus also my golden crown fell off my head.
Handsome Warren was sitting on the ground.
His face was hiding in his knees.
I pushed my way in front of Lucille and that Grace.
Then I tapped him on the head.
“Hello. How are you today? I am wearing princess clothes.” I told him.
Handsome Warren didn’t look up.
I tapped on his head again.
“Yeah, only I actually think you should get a load of me. ’Cause Grandma Miller says I am quite a sight,” I said.
Lucille rolled her eyes.
“It won’t do you any good to talk to him, Junie B.,” she said. “He’s not talking to anyone.”
“Not even to me,” said that Grace.
I squatted down next to that guy. And stared real hard.
“How come you’re not talking? Huh, Warren? Does the cat have your tongue?”
I waited very patient.
Then I leaned closer to his ear.
“I SAID, DOES THE CAT HAVE YOUR TONGUE, WARREN?”
All of a sudden, Handsome Warren raised up his head.
“GO AWAY!” he shouted. “ALL OF YOU! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!”
I stayed squatted a real long time.
Then I stood up very quiet. And I looked at that Grace and Lucille.
“Good news,” I said. “He talked.”
After that, all of us kept on standing there and standing there.
’Cause we didn’t actually know how to handle this situation, that’s why.
Finally, Lucille did a huffy breath at him.
“You’re not being nice, Warren. You used to be nice. But now you’re not. And so I don’t even want to be your friend today.”
“Me, either,” said that Grace. “I don’t want to be your friend today, either!”
Then both of those guys held hands. And they stomped away from there very furious.
Handsome Warren raised up one eyeball to see if they were gone.
I quick bended down and looked into it.
“Hello. How are you today?” I said. “I am wearing princess clothes.”
Handsome Warren did a groan.
Then he closed his eyeball. And he hided his face again.
7/Knock Knock
I sat down next to Handsome Warren.
“Guess what? I’m not even going to bother you,” I said. “I’m just going to sit here. And mind my own personal beeswax. And that’s all.”
I thought a little bit.
“Plus here’s another good thing. You don’t even have to look at my princess clothes if you don’t want to. ’Cause clothes is not how I make friends,” I said.
Handsome Warren didn’t move.
I looked at his head.
“Guess what? There’s something in your hair,” I told him.
I looked harder at that thing.
“I think it’s a teeny leaf. Or else maybe it’s a piece of Kleenex,” I said.
He still didn’t move.
“Want me to brush it off for you?” I asked. “’Cause that would not be any trouble. And I would be happy to do it.”
I waited very patient for him to answer.
Then I tapped on him some more.
“Yeah, only I really think you should do something,” I said. “’Cause what if somebody blowed their nose on a teeny Kleenex? And then it flied in the wind. And got stuck in your hair. Did you ever think of that? Huh? ’Cause that would not be pleasant.”
He didn’t answer.
“Whoever wants me to get the Kleenex out of his hair, raise your hand,” I said.
All of a sudden, Handsome Warren uncovered his angry face.
“I thought you weren’t going to talk!” he hollered. “I thought you were going to mind your own personal beeswax!”
I smiled very cute.
“Yeah, only I am minding my own personal beeswax, Warren,” I said. “I just needed to tell you about the teeny Kleenex. And so now I’m all done talking. Period. The end.”
Handsome Warren rolled his eyes way up at the