Junk - Melvin Burgess [26]
‘Oh, we’re having a great time, thanks. Yes, okay, I’ll be careful. Yeah, thanks, Dad. I’ll see you tomorrow… Yeah, give Mum a big kiss…’
And he was going, ‘Why are you speaking to me like that, are you being sarcastic? Gemma, what’s going on? Look, let’s overlook this slip. You get back here WITHIN THE HOUR and we can discuss –’
‘No, I’ve already eaten, we had baked potatoes. I’ll give you a ring again, tomorrow probably. Okay, see you, Dad, thanks, ‘bye…’
And I put the phone down.
I don’t know why it upset me so much. I just wasn’t ready for it. I was leaving home, I was running away, I just wasn’t ready to start talking to them. I guess it took me by surprise.
I stood there for a bit staring at the wall trying not to cry. It wouldn’t do for them to see me cry after speaking to my folks. Vonny came up to me after a minute and tried to peer into my face but I turned away.
‘Are you okay? Gemma?’ She came up close and touched my arm. ‘Is everything okay at home?’
The stupid cow! What did she think things were like at home? I closed my eyes and nodded my head. It felt like she was drilling a hole in my skull. She just made everything so hard. I managed to whisper, ‘Look, I’ve done it, is that enough?’ She thought about it and nodded. I went out to the toilet to fix my face.
Afterwards they were going to a party, but I didn’t fancy it by this time. I’d really been having a good time but now I felt shattered, totally shattered, as if I’d flown to the moon and back instead of catching the coach to Bristol.
Me and Tar went back and sat in his room. I was furious with him for siding with them. We almost had an argument and then I started to cry and…
I couldn’t really be angry with him for long. Once he saw me cry he got really upset about it. He started hugging me and saying, ‘Sorry, sorry…’ and getting all wet-eyed. And I thought, I’m not coming all this way just to fall out with Tar about that pair of sergeant majors.
We got ourselves cosy. I wanted to light a fire but we weren’t allowed to in case the neighbours thought the house was on fire and called the fire brigade. They weren’t supposed to know the house was squatted. We weren’t allowed to have the lights on either, for the same reason. I was beginning to get a bit irritated with the list of things we weren’t allowed to do. But Tar stuck loads of candles in bottles and made coffee and we sat on the floor in a pile of cushions and had a bit of a cuddle, and we talked for ages about… I dunno, everything.
Then bedtime came along. I had my bedroll with me that I used for camping. Tar had his mattress and he kept going on and on about me sleeping on that. I could feel myself losing my temper about it so I just said, ‘Okay, okay.’ I had his present to give him and I didn’t want to spoil this.
I was feeling shy by this time. I put the bedroll down next to the mattress and got undressed and into my bag while he was out of the room.
And I thought, right. I’ve done my bit. He can do the rest. Tar came in. He blew out the candles, got undressed in a corner and into his pyjamas. Then he slid into his bag and just lay there.
I was furious. Livid. I had the bag up around my nose so my hair and my eyes were peering out at him, three feet away with his eyes closed, all set to go to sleep. The worst of it was, I was getting cold and if this kept on I’d have to sneak out and get my pyjamas on.
I lay there for about ten minutes getting really chilly. And then he said, ‘Can we have a cuddle?’
‘All right, then.’
He pushed his mattress across so he lay next to me and hugged me. He didn’t try to kiss me. Then he put his hand on my neck and I could feel his fingers slide down to my shoulder…
I was watching him. I saw his eyes open and catch me looking at him and he closed them again, quickly. Then in a moment the fingers slid down a little further, down my waist, to my