Kushiel's Scion - Jacqueline Carey [80]
"I know." The coiled anxiety in my belly had eased. "Thank you, I think."
The day of my natality dawned cool and bright. I felt strange unto myself. I had crossed an invisible threshold on this day, and it might be that I would cross another ere it ended; a visible, very tangible threshold. I felt at the ivory token in my purse, wondering if I dared use it, thinking about Phèdre's choice. Was I so broken that I was in need of healing?
Yes, I thought; mayhap I am.
What they would do there, I couldn't imagine. I had watched Clory at work many times. Not lately, because… well. But Clory was not Naamah's Servant, she had only studied to learn massage. What I wanted was far more than any mere massage. I thought about the Trois Milles Joies, much of which I had endeavored to commit to memory. It spoke much of pleasure, but little of healing.
As she had done last year, the Queen held a fete in my honor. It was a little larger with my new friends in attendance, and there was music and dancing afterward. I danced with Alais, feeling guilty for having neglected her.
"Are they going to do the abduction, Imri?" she asked me.
"What?" I held her at arm's length. "You know about that?"
"Of course. It's only boys who aren't told." She looked up at me. "Well, are they?"
"No," I said. "No abduction."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "I was looking forward to seeing you fight them."
I laughed. "It's not that kind of abduction, villain."
"I know," she said, considering. "But you might have made it so."
I started to laugh again, then stopped and thought about it. I had been abducted once in earnest. What my own reaction to this nobleman's game would have been if I'd truly been caught unwitting, I could not say. Phèdre was right, my friends were heedless in their youthful folly; and my little cousin was nearly as clever as Phèdre. "You're awfully smart, Alais."
"I know," she said complacently.
After our dance, I sought out Hugues. He was talking with Ti-Philippe, but he turned away the moment he saw me. I fished the Balm House token out of my purse and showed it to him, and he merely nodded. Phèdre had chosen him wisely. I remembered how he had silenced the others on the way to Lombelon when their talk of the Night Court began to make me uncomfortable. Out of all Montrève's household, he had the kindest heart.
The remainder of the affair passed in a blur. I endured sly looks from Bertran and Julien, and Gilot and the others; and I watched them fade in resigned disappointment as Joscelin circulated, speaking quietly to them. Somewhat to my surprise, Mavros did not appear to be among my would-be abductees. He shook his head when Joscelin spoke to him, his expression unchanged. Then again, he knew me better than the others. I was easier in their company than I was in his, but I had never opened my heart to them, and they had no skill to see inside it.
I wonder, sometimes, what it would be like to have a true friend—one I could speak to openly and without fear, or strange undercurrents of tension. I was friendly with Gilot, but it wasn't quite the same. In truth, Alais was probably the nearest thing I had… but there are certain things one cannot speak of to an eleven-year-old girl.
Like tonight.
The fete ended at a reasonable hour. I made my thanks and farewells, and in the flurry of activity as the footmen hurried about fetching cloaks and summoning coaches, Hugues tapped me on the shoulder, Ti-Philippe beside him.
"Our horses are saddled and waiting," he murmured.
"You, too?" I said to Ti-Philippe.
"Joscelin's orders. A two-guard minimum." He smiled. "He'll come himself, if you'd rather."
"No," I said slowly. "He's not overly fond of the Night Court, I think."
"True," said Hugues. "Let's go."
Under cover of darkness, we slipped away from the Palace and rode through the City toward Night's Doorstep. The Bastard huffed and snorted beneath me, arching