Lanark_ a life in 4 books - Alasdair Gray [51]
“Can you stand up, dear? Lie on the stretcher and we’ll take you gently to a lovely, lonely ward together.”
“The Professor is cross with you, Bushybrows. He says you’ve been sabotaging the expansion project.”
They wheeled Rima down the corridor to the ward and Lanark followed. The blind was raised. There was a deep green sky outside with a couple of stars in it and some feathery bloody clouds. The nurses fetched towels and basins and washed Rima in bed. Lanark took his dressing gown and undressed and bathed in the ward lavatory. When he returned the nurses were putting screens round the bed. He said, “Leave an opening so that we can see the window, please.”
They did that, then one patted his cheek, the other said, “Have fun, Bushybrows,” and both pressed fingers to their lips and tiptoed out with exaggerated stealth. Lanark went to the bed. Rima seemed to be sleeping. He slid gently in beside her and fell asleep himself.
Someone seemed to be shining a torch on his eyes so he opened them. The ward was dark but the window through the arches was filled with stars. A nearly full moon had risen, and its clear wan light shone upon the bed and Rima, who leaned on an elbow watching him with a grave small smile, nibbling the tip of a lock of silvery-gold hair. She said, “Were you the only one who could help me, Lanark? Nobody special? Nobody splendid?”
“Have you known many special men?”
“None who weren’t pretenders. But I used to have fantastic dreams.”
“I can imagine nobody more splendid than you.”
“Take care, that makes me stronger. I may not find a better man but I’ll always be able to imagine one.”
“But that makes me stronger.”
“Don’t talk.”
They did not sleep again until he had explored with his body all the sweet crevices of her body.
CHAPTER 11.
Diet and Oracle
They lay in bed for three days for she was weak and he liked to be near her. The window showed azure skies with distant birds in them or sunlit or sullen cloudscapes changing before a wind. Lanark read The Holy War and looked at Rima, who slept a lot. He had been near beauty before but had never expected to touch and hold it, and being held and caressed by it was so luxurious that it made his insides feel golden. That she, delighting him, delighted in him was a reflection multiplying delight until it shone round them like a halo. Her clear lovely body glowed, even in sweat, as if the silver once containing her was softly breathing under the skin. When he told her this she smiled sadly and said, “Yes, I suppose good looks and money are alike. They make us confident but we distrust folk who want us for them.”
“Don’t you trust me? I said that as a compliment.”
She stroked his cheek with a fingertip and said absently, “I like making you happy, but how can I trust someone I don’t understand?”
He stared, astonished, and cried, “We love each other! What could understanding add to that? We can’t understand ourselves, how can we understand others? Only maps and mathematics exist to be understood and we’re solider than those, I hope.”
“Take care! You’re getting clever.”
“Rima, which of us came out when that shell cracked? My thoughts are bigger than they used to be, I’m afraid of them. Hold me.”
“I like big men. Hold me instead.”
He refused all food on the first day, saying he had overeaten the day before. When the nurse brought breakfast next morning he cut his pale sausage into thin slices while Rima ate, then tried to hide them by laying her empty plate on his. She said, “Why are you doing that? Are you sick?”
“I’ll be all right in a day or two.”
“We’d better get a doctor.”
“I don’t need one. I’ll be fine when we leave the institute.”
“You’re being mysterious about something. What are you hiding?”
She interrogated him for an hour and a half, pleading, threatening, and at last tugging his hair in exasperation. He fought back and the tussle grew amorous. Later, as he lay quiet and unthinking, she murmured, “Still, you’d better tell me.”
He saw the argument like a ponderous boulder about to roll over him again. He said, “I’ll tell you