Life! By Design_ 6 Steps to an Extraordinary You - Laura Morton [0]
and continuing to be a yes throughout our marriage
To my sons, Michael and Steven
And to all of you who will choose to live your life By Design
CONTENTS
Introduction
Chapter 1 Creating My Future
PHASE I: LIVING BY DEFAULT
Chapter 2 By Default Versus By Design
Chapter 3 Wake Up!
Chapter 4 The Problem of No Problems
Chapter 5 Face It—You’re Addicted!
Chapter 6 Turn and Face the Ch-Ch-Changes
PHASE II: LIVING BY DESIGN
Chapter 7 6 Steps to Living By Design
Chapter 8 The Conscious and Subconscious Mind and the Power of Self-Talk
Chapter 9 Healthy Body, Healthy Mind
Chapter 10 The 5 Evolutions to Master By Design Living
Acknowledgments
Special Offer from Tom Ferry
INTRODUCTION
As a success coach, I think of myself as a life strategist in a business world. I travel from city to city giving lectures and conducting seminars that help change people’s lives. Often while giving these talks, I’ll lock eyes with someone in the audience I sense is in need of special attention, someone who’s reacting strongly—but not necessarily happily—to my message. There’s a look people get when they’re hearing things, often for the first time, that tap into fears they’ve been struggling to keep at bay, and when I see that expression of panic or desperation, I try to connect to it, to help draw it out.
A few years back I noticed a woman—I’ll call her Mary—sobbing throughout one of my presentations. What I found strange was that this particular event was an uplifting and inspirational sales training course, so her emotional response seemed quite out of the ordinary. My workshops are often designed to evoke a fervent response from the participants—to upset their applecart—but this wasn’t one of those times.
During our first break, I decided to look for Mary to make sure she was okay. When I found her, I asked what was wrong. It didn’t require much more of a push than that to get her to tell me.
“I’m the number one real estate salesperson in my company and number sixteen in the country,” she explained. “But my ‘all-business’ approach is taking its toll on every other area of my life. I don’t know what to do.”
I’d heard this story many times before, so I asked her some pointed questions.
“Are you married or single?” I’d barely spoken the words when she began to cry again. I took her tears to mean she was married … but maybe not for long.
“Do you have kids?” Her sobs now became loud wails as she spoke about her three-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son.
“Are you with them as often as you’d like?” Not surprisingly, this question nearly brought her to her knees.
“I feel as if I hardly know my own children!”
The pain, guilt, and anguish she was feeling about how out of balance her life had become was palpable; clearly, she had hit a wall. There was no question the woman knew how to be successful in business, but she didn’t have a clue about how to be successful in life. She had put all of her eggs in her career basket, and now everything else was suffering. What happened? How did she get here?
For much of my professional life, I’ve worked as a success coach to individuals and corporations specializing in sales and marketing. I help people like Mary become more successful in their chosen field, while simultaneously achieving a better balance across all the key areas of their lives. That’s what I do, and that’s why I’ve been invited to speak to dozens of leading corporations and have served as head coach to hundreds of top executives over the past twenty years.
After my conversation with Mary, I agreed to take her on as a client, to help coach her through this tough transition in her life. But first I needed her to agree that she would make whatever adjustments I asked of her. She quickly got on board without hesitation.
A week later, Mary had her first coaching session. I asked her to tell me more about her business.
“I’m the ‘open house’ queen of my town,” she said.
Okay, I thought. Stop right there.
Many of my clients have worked in real estate,