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What if I told you that in the midst of tough economic times my business is growing; I’ve been happily married for seventeen years and counting; I’m connected with my two boys—Michael, age eleven, and Steven, nine; I have an active social life; I’m physically fit; and, most important, I’m happy? Is it possible during challenging times to be this way? I say yes! I simply decided a long time ago to live By Design, no matter what else is happening in the world, including crumbling financial markets, plummeting real estate values, and other outside events we all deal with every day.

Now, what if I told you I could help you achieve the same results in your own life—show you how to navigate the rough water we all tread—by creating a plan to not only survive but actually thrive in difficult times?

Would you want to know more?

Great.

Then let’s get started.

When I meet new clients, our first conversation is always about their family. I want to know everything about their upbringing, childhood, parents, siblings, and current personal life because I believe the best way to get to know someone is to fully understand where they come from. I ask about traumatic moments, deep dark secrets they’ve never shared, and any other indicator to help me understand who I am talking with. Personal history is an excellent gauge of how we all choose to live our daily lives as adults. All of our emotional baggage, hang-ups, and self-imposed roadblocks are tied to events and stories we tell ourselves from the past. The biggest problem for most people is that the past is where they choose to spend most of their energy, time, and thinking. They’re stuck and unsure of how to get out from under all of that history. Does this sound familiar?

You might be asking yourself, What does this guy know about hardship, tough times, and turning around my life? Fair enough. These are legitimate and reasonable questions. After all, I’m not Dr. Phil. I don’t have any letters following my last name, and, for some, this may be the first time you’ve heard of Tom Ferry. Because I believe that turnabout is fair play, allow me to tell you a little bit about where I come from and my background that got me where I am today.

My father was and still is a tremendously ambitious man. His parents were alcoholics for most of their lives. Although Dad always said he doesn’t have a single memory before the age of nine, I am certain his early childhood must have been filled with trauma, drama, and unspeakable experiences.

Dad’s family moved to Southern California when he was three years old. Dad developed an aggressive “get them before they can get me” attitude, which was common to his generation.

Mom was a beautiful, earthy, grounded caretaker who encouraged Dad to pursue his dreams while she dutifully stayed home, kept the house clean, raised their children, and held lovely dinner parties.

Ten years and four kids later, my parents divorced. I was just six years old.

Mom found work as a graphic designer so she could provide for us kids. Dad was building what would become a very successful business, but at the time, he was still scraping by.

Mom’s two brothers, Kevin and Jeff, became father figures to my brothers, sister, and me because our dad was busy traveling for his business. We rarely saw Dad because he was on the road, sometimes as much as three hundred days a year.

Although I had a happy childhood after my parents divorced—there was always a lot of love and support at home—all of that changed one day when a new level of discipline entered our lives. Although Mom had dated on and off for about six years, life as we knew it was over when she met Pete, her knight in shining armor, who quickly threw down the proverbial gauntlet to let us know that he was now in charge. I was twelve years old when Mom met Pete. By this time, my older brother and I were running wild. I would stay out late and cut classes the next day, and had pretty much become a pre-pubescent punk. I’m sure my behavior caused Mom a lot of grief and