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• Classic-Fiction

•Do you feel you are operating By Design in this area of your life?

Lifestyle

•Are you in a loving, passionate relationship?

•Do you have any unresolved issues with your parents?

•Do you have any unresolved issues with your siblings?

•Do you have any regrets about prior relationships?

•Are you satisfied with your outside interests from work?

•Do you give your children real quality time?

•Do you have an active social life?

•Are you having enough fun?

•Are you traveling as often as you would like?

•Are you grateful for where you live?

•Do you have powerful enriching feelings of faith?

•Do people seek you out to spend time with you?

•Do you feel you are operating By Design in this area of your life?

Health and Vitality

•Are you satisfied with your current level of energy?

•Are you satisfied with your physical appearance?

•Are you working every day to make your body the best it can be?

•Do you make excuses about your body?

•Do you play sports or participate in any athletic activities?

•Are you eating for energy, health, and vitality?

•Are drugs or alcohol impacting your work or personal life?

•Do you have high self-esteem?

•Are you moody or do you have mood swings?

•Are you happy?

•Do you suffer from anxiety, stress, or depression?

•Do you get tired early and often?

•Do you feel you are operating By Design in this area of your life?

STOP! How do you feel about each area we just questioned? What did you observe about your responses? If you were uncomfortable with your answers to these questions, you are not unlike most of my clients, successfully operating in some areas of your life but operating by default in others.

When I work one-on-one with a client, I look for any physical reactions they might have, such as a change in skin color, twitching, squirming, or any uneasiness; these are signs that we’re on to something. If I am on the phone with someone, I might hear a long pause or several seconds of silence after I ask a question, which means he/she is being reflective or are inside his/her head, which is exactly where I want him/her to be. Did you find yourself going there when you considered the previous questions?

Now that you’ve read these questions, go back and write down your answers and how they make you feel. Is there someone in your life you should share your answers with? Are you up for more coaching?

Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable needs to be addressed because it is where you’re facing resistance—something incomplete. All change begins with discomfort. Awareness is the first step toward change. It’s like being at an AA meeting where you stand up and say, “Hello, my name is Bob and I am an alcoholic.” Saying “My name is Alice and I am incomplete with my relationship” is no different because it is an acknowledgment of how you feel. Those moments of uneasiness are when you are most likely to have your biggest breakthroughs.

A client named Jim was in a massive downward spiral in his business. When we first met, it took me a couple of coaching sessions before I got to the real reason he was so out of control. We spent most of our first session talking about why he thought he needed a coach, what brought him to my office, and where he wanted to go in the future. Our conversation was more on the surface and not as productive as I normally like to be during a first session. Either he didn’t feel safe and secure, or I didn’t create a strong enough connection or environment that would allow him to go to his deep, dark place.

The second time Jim came to see me, I was determined to get to the heart of his resistance. I wanted to know what he was afraid of. What was he hiding from his past that was keeping him stuck in this spiral? Whatever it was, I knew that the issue would need to be revealed before it ate away at his very being. I assured Jim that if we could figure out what that was, he would have a profound shift and an unimaginable life-altering experience.

“Are you up for that?” I asked. I know that a person has to want to