Lincoln's Yarns and Stories [161]
concluded the President, "in order to illustrate the result of the tactics of some of the Union generals who would be sadly 'missed' by themselves, if no one else, if they ever got out of the Army."
IT ALL "DEPENDED" UPON THE EFFECT.
President Lincoln and some members of his Cabinet were with a part of the Army some distance south of the National Capital at one time, when Secretary of War Stanton remarked that just before he left Washington he had received a telegram from General Mitchell, in Alabama. General Mitchell asked instructions in regard to a certain emergency that had arisen.
The Secretary said he did not precisely understand the emergency as explained by General Mitchell, but had answered back, "All right; go ahead."
"Now," he said, as he turned to Mr. Lincoln, "Mr. President, if I have made an error in not understanding him correctly, I will have to get you to countermand the order."
"Well," exclaimed President Lincoln, "that is very much like the happening on the occasion of a certain horse sale I remember that took place at the cross-roads down in Kentucky, when I was a boy.
"A particularly fine horse was to be sold, and the people in large numbers had gathered together. They had a small boy to ride the horse up and down while the spectators examined the horse's points.
"At last one man whispered to the boy as he went by: 'Look here, boy, hain't that horse got the splints?'
"The boy replied: 'Mister, I don't know what the splints is, but if it's good for him, he has got it; if it ain't good for him, he ain't got it.'
"Now," said President Lincoln, "if this was good for Mitchell, it was all right; but if it was not, I have got to countermand it."
TOO SWIFT TO STAY IN THE ARMY.
There were strange, queer, odd things and happenings in the Army at times, but, as a rule, the President did not allow them to worry him. He had enough to bother about.
A quartermaster having neglected to present his accounts in proper shape, and the matter being deemed of sufficient importance to bring it to the attention of the President, the latter remarked:
"Now this instance reminds me of a little story I heard only a short time ago. A certain general's purse was getting low, and he said it was probable he might be obliged to draw on his banker for some money.
"'How much do you want, father?' asked his son, who had been with him a few days.
"'I think I shall send for a couple of hundred,' replied the general.
"Why, father,' said his son, very quietly, 'I can let you have it.'
"'You can let me have it! Where did you get so much money?
"'I won it playing draw-poker with your staff, sir!' replied the youth.
"The earliest morning train bore the young man toward his home, and I've been wondering if that boy and that quartermaster had happened to meet at the same table."
ADMIRED THE STRONG MAN.
Governor Hoyt of Wisconsin tells a story of Mr. Lincoln's great admiration for physical strength. Mr. Lincoln, in 1859, made a speech at the Wisconsin State Agricultural Fair. After the speech, in company with the Governor, he strolled about the grounds, looking at the exhibits. They came to a place where a professional "strong man" was tossing cannon balls in the air and catching them on his arms and juggling with them as though they were light as baseballs. Mr. Lincoln had never before seen such an exhibition, and he was greatly surprised and interested.
When the performance was over, Governor Hoyt, seeing Mr. Lincoln's interest, asked him to go up and be introduced to the athlete. He did so, and, as he stood looking down musingly on the man, who was very short, and evidently wondering that one so much smaller than he could be so much stronger, he suddenly broke out with one of his quaint speeches. "Why," he said, "why, I could lick salt off the top of your hat."
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic
IT ALL "DEPENDED" UPON THE EFFECT.
President Lincoln and some members of his Cabinet were with a part of the Army some distance south of the National Capital at one time, when Secretary of War Stanton remarked that just before he left Washington he had received a telegram from General Mitchell, in Alabama. General Mitchell asked instructions in regard to a certain emergency that had arisen.
The Secretary said he did not precisely understand the emergency as explained by General Mitchell, but had answered back, "All right; go ahead."
"Now," he said, as he turned to Mr. Lincoln, "Mr. President, if I have made an error in not understanding him correctly, I will have to get you to countermand the order."
"Well," exclaimed President Lincoln, "that is very much like the happening on the occasion of a certain horse sale I remember that took place at the cross-roads down in Kentucky, when I was a boy.
"A particularly fine horse was to be sold, and the people in large numbers had gathered together. They had a small boy to ride the horse up and down while the spectators examined the horse's points.
"At last one man whispered to the boy as he went by: 'Look here, boy, hain't that horse got the splints?'
"The boy replied: 'Mister, I don't know what the splints is, but if it's good for him, he has got it; if it ain't good for him, he ain't got it.'
"Now," said President Lincoln, "if this was good for Mitchell, it was all right; but if it was not, I have got to countermand it."
TOO SWIFT TO STAY IN THE ARMY.
There were strange, queer, odd things and happenings in the Army at times, but, as a rule, the President did not allow them to worry him. He had enough to bother about.
A quartermaster having neglected to present his accounts in proper shape, and the matter being deemed of sufficient importance to bring it to the attention of the President, the latter remarked:
"Now this instance reminds me of a little story I heard only a short time ago. A certain general's purse was getting low, and he said it was probable he might be obliged to draw on his banker for some money.
"'How much do you want, father?' asked his son, who had been with him a few days.
"'I think I shall send for a couple of hundred,' replied the general.
"Why, father,' said his son, very quietly, 'I can let you have it.'
"'You can let me have it! Where did you get so much money?
"'I won it playing draw-poker with your staff, sir!' replied the youth.
"The earliest morning train bore the young man toward his home, and I've been wondering if that boy and that quartermaster had happened to meet at the same table."
ADMIRED THE STRONG MAN.
Governor Hoyt of Wisconsin tells a story of Mr. Lincoln's great admiration for physical strength. Mr. Lincoln, in 1859, made a speech at the Wisconsin State Agricultural Fair. After the speech, in company with the Governor, he strolled about the grounds, looking at the exhibits. They came to a place where a professional "strong man" was tossing cannon balls in the air and catching them on his arms and juggling with them as though they were light as baseballs. Mr. Lincoln had never before seen such an exhibition, and he was greatly surprised and interested.
When the performance was over, Governor Hoyt, seeing Mr. Lincoln's interest, asked him to go up and be introduced to the athlete. He did so, and, as he stood looking down musingly on the man, who was very short, and evidently wondering that one so much smaller than he could be so much stronger, he suddenly broke out with one of his quaint speeches. "Why," he said, "why, I could lick salt off the top of your hat."
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic