Lincoln's Yarns and Stories [29]
A lawyer, quoting a legal maxim one day in court, turned to Lincoln, and said: "That is so, is it not, Mr. Lincoln?"
"If that's Latin." Lincoln replied, "you had better call another witness."
A CONTEST WITH LITTLE "TAD."
Mr. Carpenter, the artist, relates the following incident: "Some photographers came up to the White House to make some stereoscopic studies for me of the President's office. They requested a dark closet in which to develop the pictures, and, without a thought that I was infringing upon anybody's rights, I took them to an unoccupied room of which little 'Tad' had taken possession a few days before, and, with the aid of a couple of servants, had fitted up a miniature theater, with stage, curtains, orchestra, stalls, parquette and all. Knowing that the use required would interfere with none of his arrangements, I led the way to this apartment.
"Everything went on well, and one or two pictures had been taken, when suddenly there was an uproar. The operator came back to the office and said that 'Tad' had taken great offense at the occupation of his room without his consent, and had locked the door, refusing all admission.
"The chemicals had been taken inside, and there was no way of getting at them, he having carried off the key. In the midst of this conversation 'Tad' burst in, in a fearful passion. He laid all the blame upon me--said that I had no right to use his room, and the men should not go in even to get their things. He had locked the door and they should not go there again--'they had no business in his room!'
"Mr. Lincoln was sitting for a photograph, and was still in the chair. He said, very mildly, 'Tad, go and unlock the door.' Tad went off muttering into his mother's room, refusing to obey. I followed him into the passage, but no coaxing would pacify him. Upon my return to the President, I found him still patiently in the chair, from which he had not risen. He said: 'Has not the boy opened the door?' I replied that we could do nothing with him--he had gone off in a great pet. Mr. Lincoln's lips came together firmly, and then, suddenly rising, he strode across the passage with the air of one bent on punishment, and disappeared in the domestic apartments. Directly he returned with the key to the theater, which he unlocked himself.
"'Tad,' said he, half apologetically, 'is a peculiar child. He was violently excited when I went to him. I said, "Tad, do you know that you are making your father a great deal of trouble?" He burst into tears, instantly giving me up the key.'"
REMINDED HIM OF "A LITTLE STORY."
When Lincoln's attention was called to the fact that, at one time in his boyhood, he had spelled the name of the Deity with a small "g," he replied:
"That reminds me of a little story. It came about that a lot of Confederate mail was captured by the Union forces, and, while it was not exactly the proper thing to do, some of our soldiers opened several letters written by the Southerners at the front to their people at home.
"In one of these missives the writer, in a postscript, jotted down this assertion
"'We'll lick the Yanks termorrer, if goddlemity (God Almighty) spares our lives.'
"That fellow was in earnest, too, as the letter was written the day before the second battle of Manassas."
"FETCHED SEVERAL SHORT ONES."
"The first time I ever remember seeing 'Abe' Lincoln," is the testimony of one of his neighbors, "was when I was a small boy and had gone with my father to attend some kind of an election. One of the neighbors, James Larkins, was there.
"Larkins was a great hand to brag on anything he owned. This time it was his horse. He stepped up before 'Abe,' who was in a crowd, and commenced talking to him, boasting all the while of his animal.
"'I have got the best horse in the country,' he shouted to his young listener. 'I ran him nine miles in exactly three minutes, and he never fetched a long breath.'
"'I presume,' said 'Abe,' rather dryly, 'he fetched a good many short ones, though.'"
LINCOLN LUGS THE OLD MAN.
On May 3rd, 1862,
"If that's Latin." Lincoln replied, "you had better call another witness."
A CONTEST WITH LITTLE "TAD."
Mr. Carpenter, the artist, relates the following incident: "Some photographers came up to the White House to make some stereoscopic studies for me of the President's office. They requested a dark closet in which to develop the pictures, and, without a thought that I was infringing upon anybody's rights, I took them to an unoccupied room of which little 'Tad' had taken possession a few days before, and, with the aid of a couple of servants, had fitted up a miniature theater, with stage, curtains, orchestra, stalls, parquette and all. Knowing that the use required would interfere with none of his arrangements, I led the way to this apartment.
"Everything went on well, and one or two pictures had been taken, when suddenly there was an uproar. The operator came back to the office and said that 'Tad' had taken great offense at the occupation of his room without his consent, and had locked the door, refusing all admission.
"The chemicals had been taken inside, and there was no way of getting at them, he having carried off the key. In the midst of this conversation 'Tad' burst in, in a fearful passion. He laid all the blame upon me--said that I had no right to use his room, and the men should not go in even to get their things. He had locked the door and they should not go there again--'they had no business in his room!'
"Mr. Lincoln was sitting for a photograph, and was still in the chair. He said, very mildly, 'Tad, go and unlock the door.' Tad went off muttering into his mother's room, refusing to obey. I followed him into the passage, but no coaxing would pacify him. Upon my return to the President, I found him still patiently in the chair, from which he had not risen. He said: 'Has not the boy opened the door?' I replied that we could do nothing with him--he had gone off in a great pet. Mr. Lincoln's lips came together firmly, and then, suddenly rising, he strode across the passage with the air of one bent on punishment, and disappeared in the domestic apartments. Directly he returned with the key to the theater, which he unlocked himself.
"'Tad,' said he, half apologetically, 'is a peculiar child. He was violently excited when I went to him. I said, "Tad, do you know that you are making your father a great deal of trouble?" He burst into tears, instantly giving me up the key.'"
REMINDED HIM OF "A LITTLE STORY."
When Lincoln's attention was called to the fact that, at one time in his boyhood, he had spelled the name of the Deity with a small "g," he replied:
"That reminds me of a little story. It came about that a lot of Confederate mail was captured by the Union forces, and, while it was not exactly the proper thing to do, some of our soldiers opened several letters written by the Southerners at the front to their people at home.
"In one of these missives the writer, in a postscript, jotted down this assertion
"'We'll lick the Yanks termorrer, if goddlemity (God Almighty) spares our lives.'
"That fellow was in earnest, too, as the letter was written the day before the second battle of Manassas."
"FETCHED SEVERAL SHORT ONES."
"The first time I ever remember seeing 'Abe' Lincoln," is the testimony of one of his neighbors, "was when I was a small boy and had gone with my father to attend some kind of an election. One of the neighbors, James Larkins, was there.
"Larkins was a great hand to brag on anything he owned. This time it was his horse. He stepped up before 'Abe,' who was in a crowd, and commenced talking to him, boasting all the while of his animal.
"'I have got the best horse in the country,' he shouted to his young listener. 'I ran him nine miles in exactly three minutes, and he never fetched a long breath.'
"'I presume,' said 'Abe,' rather dryly, 'he fetched a good many short ones, though.'"
LINCOLN LUGS THE OLD MAN.
On May 3rd, 1862,