Lion's Bride - Iris Johansen [121]
“Then you were very foolish. Someone should have stopped you. Tomorrow.”
He stared at her in rage and frustration. “Kadar may need me.”
“One more day won’t matter to him, and it may mean a great deal to you. You aren’t going to face murderers when you have no more strength than this. Go to sleep.” She rose to her feet. “You might as well do as I say, for you’ll have no horse. I’m going to take all of them down to the brook and groom them.” She grimaced. “And myself. I’ve not left your side since you were wounded, and I badly need a wash. I must smell as you did when you wore your sheepskin drawers.”
His anger disappeared. “You stayed by my side for four days?”
“You were most uncooperative. You would not wake.” She started toward the tree where the horses were tied. “But that was not your fault. The blame will lie with you if you do something stupid now.”
“Four days?”
She did not answer. She could feel his intent gaze on her as she gathered the reins and started down the incline. She kept her back very straight and did not look at him. She had never experienced such melting tenderness. She wanted to run to him and gather him close and tell him everything would be all right, that she would do whatever he wished. Even in their moments of passion she had not felt like this, and it frightened her. Much better to keep him at bay with harsh words than let herself flow into him and lose herself.
“I’ll help you.” Selene was beside her, grabbing her horse’s reins. “Why did you not ask?”
“I’ve already allowed you to do too much.” She paused. “And without thanks.”
Selene did not look at her. “When have thanks been necessary between us? And you did not allow me to help much.”
And denying her that service had hurt her, Thea thought. “It is not—He was hurt and I was afraid. You didn’t understand.”
“No, I didn’t. I still don’t.” Selene’s words came haltingly. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I see no reason why you should let yourself love Lord Ware. We would be much happier off by ourselves.”
“It’s not a question of letting myself.”
“Fate? Magic? You never believed in it before. Have you lost your senses?”
Perhaps she had lost her senses. She had certainly changed. “Lord Ware has a good heart. He saved my life.”
“So? You don’t have to give it to him. Reward him in some other way.”
Such a simple solution. “It’s not a reward. You don’t understand.”
“You keep saying that. I do understand.” Thea could almost see Selene withdrawing into herself. “Well, go ahead. Love him. Go to him. I don’t need you. We’re all alone, anyway. We just like to pretend we aren’t.”
“You’re not alone.” Thea lovingly touched her arm and flinched as Selene stiffened. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”
“It won’t be the same.”
“Don’t be stupid.” She lost patience. “Nothing is ever the same, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. You’re my sister and my friend, and I’ll neither forget nor stop loving you. You’re the one who is pushing me away.” She grabbed Selene’s shoulders and shook her. “I won’t have it. We need each other and I won’t lose you.”
Selene stared into her face for a moment before saying gruffly, “Perhaps you haven’t quite lost your senses. You may yet get over this madness.” She shrugged off Thea’s grasp. “I suppose I’ll wait and see.” She reached into the pocket of her gown and handed Thea a bar of soap. “I’ll tend the horses. You bathe and wash your hair.”
“We’ll both tend the horses first,” Thea said with firmness. “We do things together.”
“Only some things.” Selene grimaced. “For I will have nothing to do with this strange malady that’s overtaken you.”
Ware was still awake when she returned to the camp two hours later.
“Why?” he asked.
“You’re supposed to be asleep.”
“It appears I’ve done nothing but sleep for the past few days. Why did you not leave my side?”
She tied the horses to the tree. “You needed my care.”
“To that extent?” His eyes were fixed on her face. “That you could not leave me for even a moment?”
“It’s one of my faults that I can do nothing halfway.” She shrugged. “But