Love for Love [9]
those are sacred to love and contemplation. No man but the painter and myself was ever blest with the sight.
MRS FRAIL. Well, but a woman -
TATT. Nor woman, till she consented to have her picture there too-- for then she's obliged to keep the secret.
SCAN. No, no; come to me if you'd see pictures.
MRS FRAIL. You?
SCAN. Yes, faith; I can shew you your own picture, and most of your acquaintance to the life, and as like as at Kneller's.
MRS FRAIL. O lying creature! Valentine, does not he lie? I can't believe a word he says.
VAL. No indeed, he speaks truth now. For as Tattle has pictures of all that have granted him favours, he has the pictures of all that have refused him: if satires, descriptions, characters, and lampoons are pictures.
SCAN. Yes; mine are most in black and white. And yet there are some set out in their true colours, both men and women. I can shew you pride, folly, affectation, wantonness, inconstancy, covetousness, dissimulation, malice and ignorance, all in one piece. Then I can shew you lying, foppery, vanity, cowardice, bragging, lechery, impotence, and ugliness in another piece; and yet one of these is a celebrated beauty, and t'other a professed beau. I have paintings too, some pleasant enough.
MRS FRAIL. Come, let's hear 'em.
SCAN. Why, I have a beau in a bagnio, cupping for a complexion, and sweating for a shape.
MRS FRAIL. So.
SCAN. Then I have a lady burning brandy in a cellar with a hackney coachman.
MRS FRAIL. O devil! Well, but that story is not true.
SCAN. I have some hieroglyphics too; I have a lawyer with a hundred hands, two heads, and but one face; a divine with two faces, and one head; and I have a soldier with his brains in his belly, and his heart where his head should be.
MRS FRAIL. And no head?
SCAN. No head.
MRS FRAIL. Pooh, this is all invention. Have you never a poet?
SCAN. Yes, I have a poet weighing words, and selling praise for praise, and a critic picking his pocket. I have another large piece too, representing a school, where there are huge proportioned critics, with long wigs, laced coats, Steinkirk cravats, and terrible faces; with cat-calls in their hands, and horn-books about their necks. I have many more of this kind, very well painted, as you shall see.
MRS FRAIL. Well, I'll come, if it be but to disprove you.
SCENE XIV.
[To them] JEREMY.
JERE. Sir, here's the steward again from your father.
VAL. I'll come to him--will you give me leave? I'll wait on you again presently,
MRS FRAIL. No; I'll be gone. Come, who squires me to the Exchange? I must call my sister Foresight there.
SCAN. I will: I have a mind to your sister.
MRS FRAIL. Civil!
TATT. I will: because I have a tendre for your ladyship.
MRS FRAIL. That's somewhat the better reason, to my opinion.
SCAN. Well, if Tattle entertains you, I have the better opportunity to engage your sister.
VAL. Tell Angelica I am about making hard conditions to come abroad, and be at liberty to see her.
SCAN. I'll give an account of you and your proceedings. If indiscretion be a sign of love, you are the most a lover of anybody that I know: you fancy that parting with your estate will help you to your mistress. In my mind he is a thoughtless adventurer
Who hopes to purchase wealth by selling land; Or win a mistress with a losing hand.
ACT II.--SCENE I.
A room in FORESIGHT's house.
FORESIGHT and SERVANT.
FORE. Hey day! What, are all the women of my family abroad? Is not my wife come home? Nor my sister, nor my daughter?
SERV. No, sir.
FORE. Mercy on us, what can be the meaning of it? Sure the moon is in all her fortitudes. Is my niece Angelica at home?
SERV. Yes, sir.
FORE. I believe you lie, sir.
SERV. Sir?
FORE. I say you lie, sir. It is impossible that anything should be as I would have it; for I was born, sir, when the crab was ascending, and all my affairs go backward.
SERV. I can't tell indeed, sir.
FORE. No, I know you can't,
MRS FRAIL. Well, but a woman -
TATT. Nor woman, till she consented to have her picture there too-- for then she's obliged to keep the secret.
SCAN. No, no; come to me if you'd see pictures.
MRS FRAIL. You?
SCAN. Yes, faith; I can shew you your own picture, and most of your acquaintance to the life, and as like as at Kneller's.
MRS FRAIL. O lying creature! Valentine, does not he lie? I can't believe a word he says.
VAL. No indeed, he speaks truth now. For as Tattle has pictures of all that have granted him favours, he has the pictures of all that have refused him: if satires, descriptions, characters, and lampoons are pictures.
SCAN. Yes; mine are most in black and white. And yet there are some set out in their true colours, both men and women. I can shew you pride, folly, affectation, wantonness, inconstancy, covetousness, dissimulation, malice and ignorance, all in one piece. Then I can shew you lying, foppery, vanity, cowardice, bragging, lechery, impotence, and ugliness in another piece; and yet one of these is a celebrated beauty, and t'other a professed beau. I have paintings too, some pleasant enough.
MRS FRAIL. Come, let's hear 'em.
SCAN. Why, I have a beau in a bagnio, cupping for a complexion, and sweating for a shape.
MRS FRAIL. So.
SCAN. Then I have a lady burning brandy in a cellar with a hackney coachman.
MRS FRAIL. O devil! Well, but that story is not true.
SCAN. I have some hieroglyphics too; I have a lawyer with a hundred hands, two heads, and but one face; a divine with two faces, and one head; and I have a soldier with his brains in his belly, and his heart where his head should be.
MRS FRAIL. And no head?
SCAN. No head.
MRS FRAIL. Pooh, this is all invention. Have you never a poet?
SCAN. Yes, I have a poet weighing words, and selling praise for praise, and a critic picking his pocket. I have another large piece too, representing a school, where there are huge proportioned critics, with long wigs, laced coats, Steinkirk cravats, and terrible faces; with cat-calls in their hands, and horn-books about their necks. I have many more of this kind, very well painted, as you shall see.
MRS FRAIL. Well, I'll come, if it be but to disprove you.
SCENE XIV.
[To them] JEREMY.
JERE. Sir, here's the steward again from your father.
VAL. I'll come to him--will you give me leave? I'll wait on you again presently,
MRS FRAIL. No; I'll be gone. Come, who squires me to the Exchange? I must call my sister Foresight there.
SCAN. I will: I have a mind to your sister.
MRS FRAIL. Civil!
TATT. I will: because I have a tendre for your ladyship.
MRS FRAIL. That's somewhat the better reason, to my opinion.
SCAN. Well, if Tattle entertains you, I have the better opportunity to engage your sister.
VAL. Tell Angelica I am about making hard conditions to come abroad, and be at liberty to see her.
SCAN. I'll give an account of you and your proceedings. If indiscretion be a sign of love, you are the most a lover of anybody that I know: you fancy that parting with your estate will help you to your mistress. In my mind he is a thoughtless adventurer
Who hopes to purchase wealth by selling land; Or win a mistress with a losing hand.
ACT II.--SCENE I.
A room in FORESIGHT's house.
FORESIGHT and SERVANT.
FORE. Hey day! What, are all the women of my family abroad? Is not my wife come home? Nor my sister, nor my daughter?
SERV. No, sir.
FORE. Mercy on us, what can be the meaning of it? Sure the moon is in all her fortitudes. Is my niece Angelica at home?
SERV. Yes, sir.
FORE. I believe you lie, sir.
SERV. Sir?
FORE. I say you lie, sir. It is impossible that anything should be as I would have it; for I was born, sir, when the crab was ascending, and all my affairs go backward.
SERV. I can't tell indeed, sir.
FORE. No, I know you can't,