Mao's Last Dancer - Li Cunxin [51]
Teacher Xiao hopped onto the kang and sat between Cunfar and me, legs folded like us in the lotus position. “The reason I came unannounced was so that you wouldn’t have to prepare a special meal just for me. I want to eat what you normally eat. This way I can truly experience what your life is like.”
That meant experiencing dried yams, a few pieces of left-over corn bread, pickled turnips, and sorghum soup. Teacher Xiao started with a piece of corn bread.
“Tastes good!” he said, out of politeness. My niang took this to heart and immediately started to pile pieces of corn bread in front of him.
“No, no! I can’t eat this much! Besides, I want to taste this—what do you call it?” he said enthusiastically.
Oh no, I thought. Not those.
“Dried yams,” my niang replied.
Sure enough, he gagged on the first piece and had to drink a great deal of sorghum soup to wash it down. But the soup didn’t taste too good either. I couldn’t help thinking it was funny, but I didn’t dare laugh.
I showed Teacher Xiao around the village after lunch. He was shocked at our poor living conditions. “Cunxin, you must be thinking about your family constantly while you are in Beijing.”
“Yes. I think about them when I’m eating—meat, fish, rice, or fruit. I wish I could help them,” I replied.
“You can,” Teacher Xiao said.
“How?”
“By working hard and becoming the best dancer you can! I have watched you over the past year and a half, Cunxin. I have no doubt you have the inner strength to become a special dancer. Now I understand where that inner strength comes from. Your parents’ strength is in you. It is the most valuable quality anyone can possess. If you are ever in doubt about your own abilities, all you need to do is think of your parents and what they have gone through. Your desire to help them is your incentive to work hard.” He paused, with passion in his eyes.
“But I can’t do the high jumps or turns,” I said. “I have nothing special to make me a good dancer.”
“Cunxin, nothing is impossible for a determined human being. Physical imperfections are easier to overcome than mental deficiencies. Remember the archer fable? Nothing is impossible if you put your heart and soul into it! Let’s make your family proud! Become the greatest dancer you can be. Starting next year, I expect to see nothing less than the best from you.”
From that day on Teacher Xiao’s fable of the archer became an inspirational driving force. Whenever I met difficulties or challenges in my dancing, I always went back to this fable for my basic inspiration: hard work, determination, and perseverance. His words had touched me deeply, and I knew that he cared.
FOURTEEN
Turning Points
I returned to start my fourth year at the Beijing Dance Academy in February 1975.
Before class one morning, Teacher Xiao called me to his office. “Cunxin, I’m very happy with your work and the progress you have made. I hope you can keep it up. Don’t let any outside influences pull you off track.” He hesitated for a moment. Then he continued: “I may not always be your teacher, Cunxin. There are people who feel I am not good enough. Some of them have the power to replace me. There’s not much I can do.” He paused again. I could see he was holding back tears. “All I want you to know is that even if I’m no longer here to teach you, you should continue to work in the same way. I have no doubt you will have a bright future.”
My heart sank with shock. I couldn’t bear to lose Teacher Xiao! He’d been my mentor, the only teacher in whom I could confide. He was like a parent to me.
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It’s up to the academy officials. Now, go to your class.”
I nodded and ran to my next class. But I kept hearing Teacher Xiao’s voice. I didn’t know what I would do if I lost Teacher Xiao. I can’t lose him! I kept telling myself.
After lunch I went to Zhang Shu, the head of the ballet department.