Mao's Last Dancer - Li Cunxin [79]
Elizabeth and I had our first dance together that night. “This is our wedding dance,” she whispered. “Are you happy?”
I nodded but I felt very uncomfortable. Lori and Delworth were there too. The four of us pretended nothing special had happened.
The following morning, the day before I was to return to China, as soon as Ben and Zhang had gone out, Elizabeth, Delworth, and Lori arrived and loaded up my belongings. Then I made the phone call I dreaded most.
“Hello?” Ben answered.
“Ben, I want tell you something,” I said straightaway. “I’m married. I not go back to China.”
Silence.
Eventually: “Who?”
“Elizabeth Mackey,” I replied.
“Elizabeth? You can’t be married!” he was virtually shouting now. “You are going back to China! Tomorrow!”
“Ben, listen. I love Elizabeth; she is my wife.”
“Li, I can’t believe this! You are destroying everybody’s lives. I won’t ever be allowed back to China!”
My heart was torn by his words. I knew it was true. I would be responsible for creating so much pain for others. I knew Ben had been negotiating with the Chinese government to take some dancers to China—now his plans would be ruined. I felt I was being swept into a whirlpool. Only fate could determine the outcome.
Ben changed to a more persuasive, softer tone. “Li, why are you doing this? China is where you belong.”
I felt our conversation was going nowhere. “Ben, I go now.”
“Li, where are you?” he asked urgently.
It was no use going on. I hung up and buried my head in my hands.
Elizabeth, Lori, and Delworth looked very concerned.
I tried to repeat everything Ben had said. I knew one thing for sure. There wouldn’t be a future for me at the Houston Ballet. It broke my heart. The only comfort was Elizabeth’s love and Lori and Delworth’s friendship.
The phone rang. It was Ben.
“Li’s not here,” Delworth said and hung up.
Another five minutes passed.
Then a loud knock at the door. It was Clare Duncan. “Hello, Delworth. Can I have a word with Li?”
“Li’s not here,” Delworth repeated.
“Are you sure?” Clare inquired, then left.
The phone rang again.
“Delworth, I know Li is there!” said Ben. “Clare saw his luggage in your car.” He paused. “Li’s situation is serious. I need to speak to him urgently.”
Delworth gave me the phone.
“Ohh … Li!” Ben started to sob. “I’ve lost everything! Consul Zhang thinks I’ve masterminded this whole thing. They think it’s all my fault. You have ruined everything! I’ll never be allowed back into China now!”
“I’m sorry, Ben. What you want me say?” I asked.
“I want you to say that this is all a mistake and that you will go back to China. Nothing will change if you go back now. I have spoken to Consul Zhang. You’ll still be allowed to come back to America.”
“If you want live in China, you go,” I said.
“Li, the least you can do for me is explain all this to the consulate! Tell them I had nothing to do with it.”
“Yes, I will do that,” I replied.
“Then I’ll tell Consul Zhang that you will meet them at the consulate,” he said, and he hung up.
“I don’t think you should go,” Elizabeth said.
“Already, I say yes to Ben. I will go.” I was determined.
“I think we should call Charles Foster,” Delworth said, and I knew this was the most sensible idea.
Charles was surprised to hear from me. I hadn’t spoken to him since our meeting twelve weeks earlier. He congratulated me on our marriage but when I told him that Ben had asked me to go to the Chinese consulate, he strongly advised against it. “The consulate is considered Chinese territory. Better to meet on neutral ground.”
“Is dangerous to meet in consulate?” I asked nervously.
“It could be dangerous,” he replied.
I quickly called Ben back and told him I wanted to meet the Chinese officials at a restaurant instead.
“Li, you call them,” he told me.
So I did. I called Consul Zhang. He sounded surprisingly calm and pleasant. “Cunxin, come to the consulate. I only want to have a little chat with you. No more than five minutes. Then you will be free to go and enjoy your happy life with your