Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [30]
I suppose the most important is the communication we have with ourselves. I'm a firm believer in meditation as a way to connect with my inner self. It is here we explore what is within us, what is really percolating beneath the surface and can get hold of our deepest needs. I believe that to truly be able to communicate with another I need to know myself first.
Know thyself meditation
Therefore, I am going to introduce a meditation technique that is easy to learn and easy to practice. You can do this anywhere and anytime. There are no special tools needed and it doesn't matter if you are in a crowded airport or alone on a mountaintop – this technique works.
I find this easiest to do sitting down, preferably in a chair where you can feel your feet resting on the floor and you can sit with your spine straight. Begin by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Let your focus go inward, into your body and your senses. If there is noise around you, let that noise help you relax deeper and deeper into yourself. With practice you will get better at keeping your focus on you. It's normal in the beginning to hear every noise around you. With practice, you will still notice the noise, but it won't bother you nor distract you, it will simply be there.
Continue to breathe slowly and deeply. Let your awareness drift inward, become aware of your body, your thoughts, your emotions and your senses. Notice what you are aware of, just be present to whatever is going on within you. If you just had lunch and your stomach is making itself heard, be with your stomach. If you've just had a phone call from your sweetie and you are feeling euphoric, be with that sensation. Whatever thought, whatever feeling, whatever sensation, simply place your awareness on that and let yourself go deeper into whatever your inner self brings up.
If the euphoria shifts to thoughts spinning around in your head, just let it happen. Notice what happens to your breathing as you sit quietly. Notice if your body speaks to you. Perhaps you all of a sudden notice your toe, or your nose itches. Keep your awareness on whatever comes up, there is nothing here to judge, there is nothing here to achieve, there is no goal or accomplishment to be reached. You are simply spending time with yourself and connecting to your inner self.
When I started meditating I used a timer. I made myself sit, just sit, for five minutes. I had come out of a very busy and stressful time in my life and to sit doing nothing for five minutes was a challenge. That was a long time ago. Now I can easily sit staring into space. I think we've lost the fine art of staring into space, simply being.
When you start this exercise, I recommend you do it five minutes per day. Finding five minutes in a day is easy and doable, there is no excuse in the world that can justify not having five minutes a day for yourself. Once you find five minutes doable and comfortable, extend it to ten, do that for awhile, then increase it to fifteen minutes a day. When you've reached a comfort level with fifteen minutes per day go ahead and increase it to twenty minutes. Then keep doing a twenty-minute meditation every day for the rest of your life. You will gradually notice a benefit. The real shift comes after three years of daily meditation or about a thousand days, then there's a shift in your brain and your consciousness.
Non-verbal communication
We tend to think of communication as verbal, as speaking or writing. But we send and receive messages in so many other ways. We are becoming a much more visually oriented society, where images flash across the screen conveying a whole message in a few seconds. We can say a lot with our eyes and facial expression as well as with our body language. Our tone of voice says a lot about