Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [41]
Taking this moon message into our hearts, we did a HU sing followed by a brief meditation. We then spent the time until lunch painting in silence with a focus on that intention.
My original game plan had been to sing and tone our names after lunch, but as I felt into it, there seemed to be something else that needed to happen. There had been the two punctual types who had arrived a half-hour late in the morning. A couple who is habitually late came back early from lunch. Another aspect of exploring the other side, the opposite. Then another participant walks in, stops at my painting and exclaims, “oh what I could bring out in that painting! My fingers itch to go into it and lift out the details. I would never do that of course, dabble in someone else's painting!” At that moment, inspiration hit me. We would spend the afternoon exploring the very thing we normally don't do. I normally would not allow anyone to dabble in my painting and she wouldn't let herself do it. So I started by saying, “go ahead.” At first she felt scared, “oh no I couldn't” then I coaxed the playful, explorer artist, and she plunged ahead. The rest of the group sat in stunned silence, there were some objections, some questions and after some hesitation the energy took off.
I normally wouldn't do leaderless for fear of chaos that might ensue. Each person was free to do what he or she wanted.
“Gee, what would I want to do?” they asked themselves. One asked, “is it restricted to painting or can I put on music and dance?” You can do anything you want on the theme of “not my normal behavior.”
One put on music, I just floated around, joined the dancers. Another led a structured song, a sort of game I usually find challenging. I joined in. Then I felt a twinge as the “leader” to go check in how everyone was doing, and let go of that thought. I realized, “no I don't need to take care of them.” Some sat quietly. One complained that she felt like she had already done this type of exercise and wasn't happy.
I had to let go of my fear that total chaos would break out - ah yes a bit of control to let go of...
Afterwards we did a short sharing to close out the day. One had felt totally paralyzed at first, “what do I want to do that I normally wouldn't do?” Another was unhappy, she just sat there when she really wanted to dance, and painted in her little space. Yet another loves circles and round forms, she decided to draw lines and geometric shapes. She showed us a beautiful drawing in soft pastels, all straight lines. She had discovered that straight lines could be beautiful and soft. But she still liked circles best. Someone else felt so free to just sit there with no expectation, no production, just puttering at their table like at preschool. Another would have sat quietly at her table when little, now she joined in the dancing and games. All in all it was a wonderful afternoon.
My fellow artist had pulled out details in my painting I never would have been able to. We signed the joint effort. I have this idea we should get together and paint for peace. Can you imagine Bush and Blair and Usama and Saddam each adding his energy to a joint painting for peace? The founder of Vedic Art, Curt Källman, has this vision of two armies poised for battle on the field. In we rush with our easels in between them and paint in that