Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [5]
Furthermore, I have discovered that many other women have had similar experiences, and have been made to feel less acceptable for it. So partly it's to help free them up as well, to make it ok. If I was a man and made the same statement, you'd slap me on the back and wink at me, “way to go!” like I had achieved something to be proud of. Well who do you think all the Casanovas are getting it on with? Not themselves, that's for sure.
Now you probably wonder how many one-night stands I've had? Only three, actually, the rest showed up for more. Included in the three was the one woman. We'd had a bit to drink, we were young and she said, “I've always been curious what it would be like to make love to a woman. Logically we should know how to please each other.” I agreed. It was a small risk to take and I felt ok about it, as I knew she was as crazy about men as I was. It was an ok experience. We both agreed it had been an interesting exercise and that we needn't do it again.
I have taken a lot of heat from well meaning friends about my sexual appetite. They have thought it wrong to just enjoy the physical, that for a relationship to have meaning it must last and lead somewhere and one shouldn't jump into bed until one has a commitment. I agree relationships are nice if they have depth, where you can talk to each other, you can emote and support each other, you have common interests and so on.
But each relationship has a different purpose. Just look at your circle of friends. With some friends you share one interest, with others it's something else. Some friendships last a lifetime, others just a short while. They are what they are.
A friend of mine went to a psychic a few years ago. She was at the time in a relationship that was very physical, but she wanted more. The psychic told her, “no, this one is for your body. He is very good for your body. You think you want more, but that is not what he is for in your life.” Hearing this helped my friend let go of what her mind was trying to impose as the way it should be. She relaxed and let herself enjoy the love affair of her life. It was true, this man was very good for her body.
Four
Bambi on ice
How many times have we not allowed ourselves to do, or feel, or be, what we really wanted? We have so many taboos and so many “not alloweds.” But if you think about it, our rules are made up by our minds. Customs vary from culture to culture. What is considered normal or acceptable deviates a lot by culture. So to my way of thinking, it's our heads that try to make up the rules. But that may go against what our bodies tell us or our Spiritual self guides us to do.
A woman friend had the dilemma of what to do with the infatuation of a male acquaintance. She was living with her boyfriend and enjoyed this other male as a friend. As their friendship deepened, he fell in love with her. At first she felt panicked, “how do I deal with this? I am not in love with him, I have my live-in boyfriend, help, what do I do?” My viewpoint was to not do anything, to simply allow the friend to express and experience his attraction to her. She need not respond or return the feelings. She could simply be clear in her response that she cared about him as a friend. By letting the feelings come to the surface, by acknowledging them and letting them blossom, his infatuation can bloom out and clear the path for them to have a close friendship. There was nothing secret or hidden about it. I believe we create more problems when we don't allow ourselves