Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [124]
Therapy can happen anywhere—in homes, schools, community centers, churches, cars, parks, and cafés. I'm reminded of a story about Willie Sutton, the famous bank robber. He was asked, "Why do you rob banks?" Sutton answered, "That's where the money is." If the question is "Where should therapists do therapy?" The answer is, "Where refugees are."
Not too long ago, I listened to a roomful of professionals discuss how to help traumatized people. People suggested various forms of therapy, all of which involved facing pain. Fair enough. In many cases, pain needs to be faced, but no one in the room suggested anything pleasant such as music, art, parties, pets, or walks in the countryside. This serious discussion seemed a metaphor for our blind spots as a field. We have focused on narrow, and not necessarily the most palatable, of treatments. We have ignored some of the oldest, most useful, and most universal healing procedures.
After thirty years of being a therapist and several years of working with refugees, I have found certain constants in the healing experience, certain experiences that help people in all times and places. These constants include some things we've seen with the Thrive mentors—fun, useful work, the support of community and family, and religious beliefs. And the constants include some of the essential elements in psychotherapy—safe, calm places; caring relationships; finding hope and meaning in painfiil events. In the future, good therapists will use elements from healing from all over the world.
SAFE SPACE
Calmness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
—MARK TWAIN
A calm, safe environment begins the healing process. The best treatment facilities for refugees know this. The Center for Victims of Torture is housed in an old home near the University of Minnesota. There is a fountain in the lobby that makes splashy, soothing water sounds. The house has lots of skylights and windows and no small rectangular rooms. Artifacts from many cultures remind visitors of their homelands. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is translated into many languages and framed on the walls. Offices are homey and noninstitutional, with easy chairs, couches, and soft light. Classical music plays, flowers decorate desks and tables, and outside a garden flourishes.
The best treatment programs for refugees are user-friendly systems. Paperwork is kept to a minimum. Greeters and gifts, such as pizza and free TB tests, draw people in. The best treatment is holistic and incorporates school, family, and community resources. Dr. Keller at the Bellevue/NYU Program for Survivors of Torture put it this way, "Whatever problem a person has, we try to find the nicest person we can to solve it."
Therapy is very much about die construction of a space for people to think, talk, and work out their problems. But the ideas about a quiet space are much older than psychology. Almost all of the great religious leaders found enlightenment when they were alone in the wilderness. Many tribes encourage their members to go away from the community and be alone to seek knowledge and to heal. Healing rituals from all over the world involve isolating people from others and decreasing the amount of stimulation they receive so that they can calm down and think.
Time alone outdoors is an ancient and a modern remedy. Some of our most cutting-edge therapy recommends wilderness experience. A local social worker, who was one of the wisest people I knew, walked on our prairie for hours every day to heal from the death of her husband.
HEALING RELATIONSHIPS
The first casualty of trauma is trust. After being tortured or witnessing murders, people lose their protective shields of invulnerability. They