Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [94]
Yen said, "Someday I will go to a hotel like this. I will take my kids and we will build sand houses."
"Sand castles, you mean," said Wendy.
Ha giggled, "I would like to go there just with my husband for a honeymoon."
Rosa said, "What is a honeymoon?"
"Ahhh, chica. You don't know anything," Maria chided.
Wendy intervened. "It's good she is in our class. We can help her."
Bao pointed to the hotel scene on her handout and asked me, "Is it in Florida?" I nodded and she said, "I will make lots - of money and buy my family plane tickets to Florida."
Maria said, "One time I went dancing at a hotel like this one."
Bao interrupted. "Dancing or kissing, chica?"
Maria blushed and Wendy cleared her throat and hid a smile. She said, "Let's look at the grammar in this story."
We worked on which prepositions to use when. The rules were complex and there were many exceptions—on the weekend, in the morning, and at night. We also worked on irregular plurals such as foot and feet and child and children. Wendy explained the difference between flushed, as in "a face is flushed," versus flush, as in "flush the toilet."
After a while Wendy noticed many furrowed brows and tired faces. She said, "Let's put the books away for now."
She wanted to end things on a happy note. She said, "Each of you tell us what you think is beautiful."
The women all looked thoughtful.
Ha said, "The flowers in the mountains near my village; beautiful red flowers bloomed along the road and up into the trees."
Yen said, "The faces of my children as they sleep are very beautiful."
Everyone nodded in agreement. Bao made a joke that wasn't a joke. "My paycheck when I have worked overtime is very beautiful."
Rosa said, "The snow is pretty on the pine trees."
Maria said, "Our teacher is beautiful. She looks like Julia Roberts." We all chuckled, but Maria was serious.
Bao put her hands together in prayer and pleaded, "Please, Miss Wendy, don't go to Hollywood and leave us here."
Wendy said, "I'll take you with me. We'll all stay at a hotel on the beach and make sand houses." Outside it was snowing. Inside, the weather was tropical.
ACCULTURATION BLUES
From the moment of arrival, families face dilemmas: Do they let their children drink Coke and watch cartoons? Do they try to speak English or do they stick with their native language? What kind of clothes do they wear? Do they wear shoes in the house? Do they shake hands with strangers? Do they encourage family members to be individuals or to maintain a family-based identity?
Families arrive here intensely unified; they have survived great crises and stayed together. All have focused on the dream of reaching a safe good place. But once here, people develop individual dreams. These conflicting dreams create tension and sometimes break up families that have risked their lives to be together. It's sad to see a family that has survived bombs or crocodiles split up over a credit-card bill or a drinking problem.
Internal culture wars often ravage families. One sister may continue to wear her hijab while other sisters wear shorts and halter tops. A teenage daughter may want to dress like American girls and the father is horrified. Grandchildren watch The Simpsons, while, in the next room, their grandfather prays to his ancestors. A Laotian girl argues with her mother in a way the mother didn't even know was possible. A boy in high school wants to date and his father expects him to wait for his arranged bride.
There may be arguments about what language is spoken in the home. Wage earners pick up a new language more quickly than the stay-at-home parent. Old people have a harder time adjusting to a new country and a new language. Some don't even attempt to assimilate. They leave it