Monster - A. Lee Martinez [21]
Judy, lost in thought, stared absently out the windshield. Monster fumbled for some other polite phrase, finally settled on a halfhearted “Take care now,” and turned toward his house.
“Are you going monster hunting tonight?” she asked. “I mean, cryptobiological rescuing?”
He answered without turning back. “Not tonight.”
He took a step away from the car. “Why not?” she asked. “Because I’ve had a hell of a day, and I just want to go home, watch TV, drink some beer, have sex with my girlfriend, and call it a night.”
“Uh-huh. I was thinking maybe it was because you didn’t have a van anymore because the koja ate it.”
“Kojin,” he corrected. “Whatever. So do you have a car?”
There was always Liz’s car. He could borrow that if he had to. If he got so much as a ding in the fender, she’d probably rip out his soul and eat it. He’d seen her do that once to some guy who cut her off on the freeway, though really she didn’t eat the whole thing. Soul went straight to her hips, so she’d just taken a small bite out of it before giving it back. But Monster figured it would be better not to risk it.
“Because if you don’t have a car,” said Judy, “you can borrow mine. If you wanted to.”
Monster handed off the kojin stone to Chester. The paper gnome wrinkled under the weight.
“What’s the catch?” asked Monster. “No catch. You just have to take me along while you work. That’s all.”
“I can’t drag you around while I’m on the job. This is dangerous business. Every night I go out there, I’m taking my life into my hands. It’d be irresponsible. You wouldn’t last the night. You’d get eaten or petrified or dissolved, and I’d lose my license.” He shook his head and waved his arms to emphasize the point. “Thanks but no thanks.”
Judy jumped out of her car. “You owe me.”
“I owe you?” He barked a single, harsh laugh. “Lady, because of you my van was trashed, I nearly got devoured by trolls, and I almost lost my license.”
“Almost,” said Judy. “You almost lost your license, but you didn’t. And you didn’t because I told the Rubes—”
“Reds,” corrected Chester. “Yeah, those guys,” said Judy. “The guys who would’ve already taken away your license if I hadn’t lied and said you weren’t responsible for what happened.”
“She did kind of get you out of a jam,” said Chester.
“Okay, forget it,” she said. “Sorry I asked.”
She climbed into the car and restarted it. She feigned searching for her last cigarette, fumbled around in her pockets for a while.
Monster slouched. He wasn’t responsible for what happened at the apartment, and though it had been a bit dicey, he’d managed to keep things from getting worse than they could have been. The kojin could’ve done some real damage, eaten a few people, destroyed a lot more property. Monster had kept that from happening. But the Reds wouldn’t have cared. If Judy hadn’t vouched for him, they would’ve been more than happy to put the blame on him. It made their paperwork easier. She’d saved his license, some hefty fines, and maybe even some jail time.
He owed her. And maybe if he’d handled things better, she wouldn’t have lost her apartment. Even if it wasn’t his fault, she’d still had a lousy day, and he could relate to that. If she wanted a night of crypto hunting, it didn’t seem too much to ask.
Monster threw open the passenger door. “Okay. You can come along. But let’s get this straight. I’m not responsible for you, and nobody knows about it. Tomorrow night, if anything happens to you, I’m just walking away. No report. I didn’t see nothing, and I don’t know anything about it.”
“Sure, sounds like a deal.”
She offered her hand, and they shook on it. “Tomorrow night, ten o’clock,” said Monster. “Don’t be late.”
“Oh, I’ll be here.” She gunned the engine and sped away. Monster took the kojin from Chester. The paper gnome had no eyes, but Monster had worked with Chester long enough to recognize his disapproval by the way he folded his hands on his hips.
“What? What is it?”
“Every night you go out there, you take your life into your hands?” repeated Chester.
“Well, don’t I?”
“Whatever you say.