Monster - A. Lee Martinez [30]
She thought about getting Monster, but then he’d just push her aside and take care of it himself. She had to prove to him that she could do this. And she had to prove it to herself. If she captured one damn supernatural creature, she could claim that this night wasn’t a total waste. If nothing else, she could scrawl a memory glyph on her forehead occasionally and remember the night she captured a sea elf. Or whatever the hell this was.
By the time Judy got to the front of the line, she had a plan. She couldn’t know for sure if this creature had any special powers. Maybe he could breathe fire or turn things into gold. Maybe if she captured him he’d grant her three wishes. Whatever he might be capable of, her best bet was to take him off-guard. She paid for her candy bar, stuffed it into her pocket, and walked out the door. The store had a glass front, so she sauntered casually around the corner, where she waited.
Monster was fiddling with the radio doll and hadn’t noticed her exit. So much the better, she thought. Now he’d feel like an idiot for missing the creature right in front of his nose.
The sea elf exited the store and by a stroke of luck turned her way. She pulled back into the darkened corner, listening to his approaching footsteps. Just as he came into sight, she threw herself into him. There wasn’t much of a struggle, and soon she had him down on the pavement. There was some squirming and swearing from both of them. His flailing fist smacked her in the throat. She gagged but managed to force him onto his stomach and twist his arm behind him.
“Ow!” he screamed. “What’s wrong with you, you crazy bitch?”
“I caught you, you little… whatever the hell you are! I caught you!”
While the creature unsuccessfully struggled to free itself, Monster got out of the car and stood before Judy.
“What are you doing?”
“I caught something.” She pressed the weight of her knee into the creature’s back. “See? It’s not human!”
“I knew it!” said the creature. “I knew it wasn’t any different here. Land of the free, my ass. I’ve got a green card!”
The possibility that she’d made a horrible mistake came to Judy slowly. She was still working it out when Monster suggested she should release her capture. She did so with reluctance, and the sea elf stood, glaring.
“I’m sorry, sir,” said Monster. “This has all been a misunderstanding.”
The sea elf scooped up his magazine. Several pages had been torn out in the scuffle.
Monster took Chester out of his pocket and instructed him to deal with the elf while Monster took Judy aside.
“Why did you do that?”
“He’s a creature,” she said. “I mean, look at him.”
“I knew this was a bad idea. Just because he’s not human doesn’t mean he’s a cryptobiological.”
“It doesn’t?”
“There are four general classifications: human, animal, cryptobiological, and parahuman. Guess what he is?”
The sea elf ranted at Chester, who continued to try to calm him down.
“My job is to capture cryptos. Nothing else.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“I didn’t think you’d be going nuts and tackling anything with pointed ears.”
“How can I tell the difference?” she asked. “Those trolls looked kind of like people, didn’t they?”
“A good rule of thumb is, if it’s standing in line to buy beer, it’s probably not a threat to public safety. You’d better hope Chester can smooth things over. Otherwise, you’re probably going to jail.”
After a few minutes, Chester’s efforts seemed to have an effect. Chester came over to Monster and Judy. “He’s willing to forget the whole thing on a few conditions. He wants fifty dollars and a new magazine.”
“I just spent my last buck on a candy bar.” Judy turned out her pockets and discovered a chocolaty mess.