Monster - A. Lee Martinez [81]
It was his house.
“Son of a…”
Monster limped over to the refrigerator and found a beer to soothe his dry throat. The clock on the wall read half past nine. He sized up his situation. Or he tried. But he didn’t get any of it. None of the pieces made much sense. There was a woman who could summon and control cryptos (but only in a half-assed subconscious manner), an enchanted stone tablet, a crazy old lady with awesome magical powers. And he was stuck in the middle of it.
He checked Judy again. She was snoring. He prodded her with his foot. She didn’t respond.
The weird tea she’d been drinking and the inebriation rune had taken their toll. The teleport might not have helped either. Nothing to do but let her sleep it off.
He didn’t know if the house would be safe. Lotus would be looking for them. And the stone. He hadn’t forgotten about the stone. It’d gone from white to black. He left it on the spot of burnt carpet where it’d fallen.
Liz would be home soon, and at the moment an angry demon girlfriend ranked higher on his concerns than some crazy sorceress. But the stone or Judy or both had drawn him here, and he couldn’t think of any better place to go.
He considered leaving her on the floor. Not like it made any difference to her right now.
“Aw, screw it.”
He would’ve thrown her on the couch, but it teetered on the edge of the hole. He dragged her into the other room and laid her on his side of the bed. She didn’t stir, just snored louder. Her half-open eyes fluttered, but she wasn’t conscious. Maybe all the mind-altering magic she’d been subjected to had given her brain damage. Although he was pretty sure most coma victims didn’t snore loud enough to scare away dragons.
Where did her power come from? If there was some spell or curse, there had to be a mark on her body. He lifted her up and pulled back her collar to check for one. Then he lifted up her T-shirt. Just up to her belly button. He turned her over and checked her back.
Nothing.
Monster lifted her shirt another inch to the bottom of her bra. Still no sign. It could be anywhere. He might have to strip her naked to find it.
He went to the drawer and activated one of Chester’s spare bodies. “This is getting monotonous, boss.” The gnome unfolded himself in a stretch. “You escaped. I’m impressed. How’d you do it?”
“Beats the hell out of me. I think Judy and that stone did it. I was just along for the ride.” Monster pointed to Judy. “I need you to check her. If she’s human, then there has to be some kind of mark on her body.”
“Will do.”
Monster exited the room, leaving the door open a crack so they could talk while Chester searched Judy.
“What did you call that stone again?”
“A hard-form interdimensional sink,” shouted Chester. “It’s difficult to explain to a purely physical entity such as yourself.”
Monster stared at the stone, still lying where he dropped it. “Try me.”
“A hard-form sink is an object that resonates at a variable actuality rhythm.”
“You know what? Never mind.” Monster had taken only one course in interdimensional theory in college, and he’d failed it miserably.
“All you really need to know is that it’s an anomalous object of tremendous power.”
“And that’s how it teleported us?”
“Could be. It’s not difficult for a hard-form sink to slip around the edges of reality. Though it would have been directed. Unless it was self-aware.” Chester opened the door. “I checked. There’s nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
Monster went into the bedroom. Judy was draped in an awkward pose, still dead to the world. She was also half naked. Her pants were barely to her hips, and her torso was exposed. Monster noticed her breasts, but he quickly turned his eyes.
“Damn it, Chester! Why didn’t you put her clothes back on?”
“I did. All the important ones, anyway.”
“Her tits. You didn’t cover her tits.”
“Sorry. I forgot