Monster - A. Lee Martinez [82]
“Tits aren’t arbitrary.” His gaze averted, Monster sidled up to the bed and threw the blanket over her. “They’re one of the big differences between men and women.”
“So is an Adam’s apple. But I don’t see you walking around with a turtleneck all the time. I don’t know what the big deal is. You keep saying how much you don’t like her. So what if you see her breasts?”
“Because they’re breasts,” said Monster. “You wouldn’t understand, but we lower biological entities have certain lower biological responses, even if we don’t want them. Seeing naked boobs will trigger those responses, whether I like them or not. And Liz can sense these things. She’ll know I’ve seen foreign breasts now, and she’s not going to like it.”
“It was an accident,” said Chester. “Blame me.”
“I’m planning on it.”
Judy stirred. She rolled over onto her stomach and smacked her lips before resuming snoring. Monster took this as a good sign. She wasn’t awake, but she was getting there.
“There has to be a mark,” said Monster. “Did you check her back?”
“Yes.”
“There are only two options here, Chester. If she’s human, then any magical condition that would give her the power to summon and control cryptos would require some kind of permanent mark on her body.”
“What if she’s parahuman?” said Chester. “Could be wearing a disguise.”
“If she’s wearing a disguise, then odds are that magic would leave a mark as well. Unless it came from some kind of charm or potion. She wasn’t wearing any jewelry, was she?”
“No.”
“I guess we’ll have to do a more thorough check.”
Monster found one of his giant drawing pads and a selection of markers. He also dug out his unabridged rune dictionary. The big one that weighed twenty-five pounds. A layer of dust had settled on it since last it’d been opened. He wanted to do this right.
Chester asked Monster about the stone. “Are you going to just leave that there?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“You do realize that this stone tablet may be among the most dangerous objects in this universe.”
“Uh-huh,” said Monster, half listening. “That means it’s probably better to leave it alone. I’m not going to be the guy who blows up the earth.” He thought about it a second. “Well, I’m not going to be the guy who blows up the earth by accident.”
“Guess you have a point there. I wonder how that crazy lady got a hold of it. And what she was planning on doing with it. And why she needed Judy.”
“You wonder too much,” said Monster, a red marker clenched in his teeth as he flipped through his dictionary.
“I think this is probably important enough to wonder about,” said Chester. “This is big stuff here. This could be a singular object in your universe, the Rosetta stone for most, perhaps all, of its secrets.”
“I’d just be happy if it could tell me how to keep Liz from gouging out my eyes when she gets home.”
“This is a big deal, Monster.”
“I get it, but that stone and Judy are somehow connected. Maybe if I figure out what’s happening with her, I’ll be able to make sense of this.”
He completed the rune and laid it next to the bed.
“Help me put her on this.”
Monster took her shoulders. Chester handled her feet. The blanket fell away, revealing her naked chest. Monster averted his eyes, not that it mattered now.
“You’ll have to take off her pants,” he said.
Monster turned his back as Chester did so.
“What about the underwear, boss?”
“That can stay.”
Monster felt kind of bad about this, almost as though he were taking advantage of Judy. If she were awake, it wouldn’t seem so inappropriate. But if she were awake, she probably wouldn’t cooperate. He kept his back to her and asked, “Is anything happening?”
“No.”
“Any strange symbols forming on the body?”
“No.”
Monster glanced over his shoulder. Her naked, sleeping form was a hazy outline in the corner of his eye. “There has to be something. That’s a revelation rune. Even if it doesn’t give the whole answer, it should show something.”
“Maybe you did it wrong.”
Monster, keeping