Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett [128]
“I wonder how much damage we did? There’s a lot of dust up there…”
“There’ll be a lot of people here soon,” said Polly more calmly than she felt. Because this is going to be it, she thought. This time there’s going to be no turkey to save us. This is where I find out if I’m the meat or the metal…
She could hear Blouse unlocking doors, and the shouts from those within.
“Lieutenant Blouse, Tenth Infantry!” he was saying. “This is a rescue, broadly speaking! Sorry about the mess!”
Probably his inner Daphne had added that last bit, Polly thought. And then the corridor was full of released men, and someone said, “What are these women doing here! For god’s sake, give me that sword, girl!”
And, right now, she wasn’t inclined to argue.
Men take over. It is probably because of socks.
The squad retired to the kitchen, where Igorina was at work. She worked fast, efficiently, and, on the whole, with very little blood. Her large pack was open beside her. The jars inside were blue, green, and red; some of them smoked when she opened them, or gave off strange lights.
Igorina’s fingers moved in a blur. It was fascinating to watch her work. At least, it was if you hadn’t just eaten.
“Squad, this is Major Erick von Moldvitz! He asked to meet you!” They turned at the sound of Blouse’s voice. He’d brought a newcomer.
The major was young, but much heavier built than the lieutenant. He had a scar across his face.
“Stand easy, lads,” he said. “Blouse here has been telling me what crackin’ work you’ve been doing. Well done! Dressin’ up as women, eh? Lucky you weren’t found out!”
“Yessir,” said Polly. From outside, there came the sound of cries and fighting.
“Didn’t bring your uniforms with you?” said the major.
“Could’ve been tricky if they were found on us,” said Polly, staring at Blouse.
“Could’ve been tricky anyway, eh, if you were searched?” said the major, winking.
“Yessir,” said Polly obediently. “Lieutenant Blouse told you all about us, did he, sir?”
Just behind the major, Blouse was making a universal gesture. It consisted of both hands held palms up and outwards and waggled furiously with all fingers extended.
“Hah, yes. Stole some clothes from a knockin’ shop, eh? Young lads like you shouldn’t have gone in a place like that, eh? Those places are an Abomination, if they’re run right!” said the major, wagging a finger theatrically. “Anyway, we’re doing well! Hardly any guards this deep in the Keep, y’see. The whole place was built on the basis that the enemy would be on the outside! I say, what’s that man doin’ to the man on the slab?”
“Patching him up, thur,” said Igorina. “Thewing hith arm back on.”
“He’s a enemy, ain’t he?”
“Code of the Igorth, thur,” said Igorina reproachfully. “A thpare hand where needed, thur.”
The major sniffed. “Oh well, can’t argue with you fellows, eh? But when you’re finished, we’ve got plenty of chaps out there who could do with your help.”
“Certainly, thur,” said Igorina.
“Any news of my brother, sir?” said Polly. “Paul Perks?”
“Yes, Blouse here mentioned him, Perks, but there’s men locked up everywhere and it’s a little tricky right now, eh?” said the major brusquely. “As for the rest of you, we’ll get you into a pair of trousers as soon as possible and you can join in the fun, eh?”
“The fun,” said Tonker in a hollow voice.
“The fun being…?” said Polly.
“We’ve got as far as the fourth floor already,” said von Moldvitz. “We might not have the whole Keep back, but we hold the outer courtyards and some of the towers. By morning, we’ll control who comes in and goes out. We’re back in the war! They won’t invade now! Most of their top brass are in the Inner Keep!”
“Back in the war,” murmured Polly.
“And we will win!” said the major.
“Oh, sugar,” said Shufti.
Something was going to give, Polly knew. Tonker had that look she got before she exploded, and even Shufti was fidgeting. It would only be a matter of time before Lofty found her box of matches, which Polly had hidden in a cupboard.