Mugglenet.com's Harry Potter Should Have Died - Emerson Spartz [15]
Nymphadora Tonks
If Lupin’s life story failed to live up to expectations, maybe it was because he married another sadly unexceptional character: Nymphadora Tonks. Of all the female characters, she turns out to be the most tiresome girl in the series. That is a shame, considering how cute she is when we first see her in OotP. She is this young, snappy, streetwise Auror with purple hair, joking around with crusty Mad-Eye Moody. Yet, unfortunately over the next two books, Tonks’s life collapses into a sort of manic-depressive hair commercial, with mood swings out of a psychology textbook, and it’s all about her ill-fated romance with Remus Lupin. She falls apart when he can’t go on moonlit strolls with her and won’t marry her, and that interferes with her job performance as a guard stationed at Hogwarts. Why can’t she pull herself together? Eventually, when Lupin succumbs to pressure from the Weasleys and marries her in DH, Tonks dumps her career apparently to stay at home and be a mom. Funny—that’s when Lupin completely loses interest in her and tries to run away from home. It wouldn’t have surprised anyone if they had gone to a werewolf marriage counselor.
Tonks is a Metamorphmagus, able to change her appearance at will without potions or spells, which makes her almost a superhero, and her many disguises are so exciting that the possibilities are endless for a story set in wartime. She should have been the spy—not Remus. So it falls short of expectations that all she does is guard Harry in HBP, standing around in Hogsmeade and patrolling Hogwarts. Yawn. Anyone could have herded Harry around, and she doesn’t really act like a cool Auror anymore. Nymphadora is so sick with puppy love that she overlooks the plot of her cousin Draco to let Death Eaters into the school. What good is an Auror who can’t do detective work?
At first, Tonks is vivacious, delightful, and full of energy. But love saps all that out of her. Lupin may lose the inner beast, but Tonks loses her identity as a tough, independent girl. Her hair turns from passionate pink to mousy brown—horrors—and then her Patronus changes into a galloping werewolf. At first it seems unfair when Snape tells her the Patronus makes her seem weak, but in hindsight, he is right. Her character becomes as washed-out as her hair, and she never lives up to more colorful expectations.
Verdict
Tonks, we barely knew ye, but most of the time, you remind us of the sad and pathetic phases in our lives after we got dumped by our exes. And those weren’t happy times. Lupin, you could have been a contender for alpha male, but instead you end up like a washed-up star. Verdict: Both of them fall far short of expectations, but Lupin has more page-time than Tonks. Sorry, Lupin, we expected so much more from you.
Would you want to be a wizard if it meant giving up all your friends?
No!
It’s neither better nor worse to be magical—both worlds have their own problems. But how could it be right to give up all your Muggle friends and throw away everything you had built up in your old life? No one should ever throw away relationships just to play around with magic. That goes completely against the message of the books, which is that friendship is the most important thing in life.
Being magical would also mean learning to deal with new dangers, such as Blast-Ended Skrewts, Dementors, and werewolves. Ordinary activities can also be painful: You might crash into a helicopter while flying on a broom, or splinch while Apparating somewhere. You might not get cancer or heart disease, but wizards still break out in Dragon Pox or Spattergroit. If you are ill and have to go to St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, some of the cures are worse than the diseases. Ugh—Skelegrow!
And look at all the things you’d be giving up. Since magic interferes with electricity, there would be no more iPods, laptops, or 15 megapixel