Mugglenet.com's Harry Potter Should Have Died - Emerson Spartz [16]
You’d be trapped in a society where people sit around mending brooms, reading books (who does that?), and dressing like monks from the Middle Ages (come on, jeans are way more comfortable than robes). Quidditch is lacrosse on broomsticks, which sounds awesome, but the Snitch is worth so many points that most of the action is completely pointless. The game is ultimately a glorified Easter Egg hunt. It is so unclear what wizards do for entertainment, besides the wireless radio with really bad songs or rock bands, like the Weird Sisters. There may be nightclubs and music, but are there plays or movies? Is there a wizarding Broadway? Is there a magical equivalent to the DVD? Without answers to those questions, it could be a long and lonely banishment into magical limbo with nothing to do, and no friends to hang out with. No wonder Sirius Black was bored all the time.
Yes!
This is a no-brainer since you should be glad to let go of your boring Muggle friends and enter the enchanted alternate universe. You’ll make new wizarding friends anyway, and pretty soon you won’t have much in common with the old crowd, as you learn to Apparate, fly on a broom, and use the Floo Network. Additionally, it is important for the witches and wizards from non-wizarding families to intermix with magical people to provide diversity to the world and be a de facto source of vicarious Muggle participation.
So what if you give up computers and television? You can frickin’ fly. The sky’s not even the limit. There are a million reasons why choosing between being a wizard and being a Muggle is a no-brainer. Here are a few: Accio (this one should need no explanation), Expelliarmus (for protection against ninjas), Protego (again, for ninja protection), Engorgio (um… ), Reparo (now, if this only worked for relationships!), Scourgio (“sure, I’ll do the dishes!”), Silencio (for that girl on the bus who talks so loud you can hear her even with Fall Out Boy blasting through your iPod’s noise-cancelling earbuds). But, really, you only need one reason, and here it is: Apparation. Booyah! And with magic to help you through life, you’ll have free time to travel and relax on a beach somewhere, with a house-elf to mix tropical drinks. Let your old friends go to the mall and shop while you go to Diagon Alley for a bunch of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and a new Firebolt. It will be like the best movie you ever saw, and you will be the hero. You’ll be a giant ball of awesomeness superior to the combined awesomeness of all six billion Muggles on earth. Once you find your magical talent, whether it is Potions, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, or Care of Magical Creatures, you won’t miss anyone. Except Oprah. What a sweetie.
Verdict
It’s tempting to run away and join the wizarding world, leaving the dull life of Muggledom behind. Your friends will think you’ve just changed schools or found a new job, and meanwhile you’ll be conjuring up the time of your life. However, magic can’t buy you better companions, as Peter Pettigrew found out. Psychology has taught us that happiness is more closely related to emotional health and tends not to increase as one accumulates material possessions. And if you decimated all of your relationships to go start a new life, it would be for the wrong reasons. Even wizards get lonely, so don’t give up your friends. That is, unless your Muggle life completely sucks and you have no friends. In that case, what have you got to lose? Verdict: Ultimately, it’s a personal decision.
What is the cheesiest movie moment?
The Bathtub Scene with Myrtle (GoF)
The cheese-fest actually starts when Cedric Diggory looks all around and then whispers to Harry that he should take his egg to the Prefect’s bathroom for a nice soak in the tub. It sounds so bizarre. Can you imagine what moviegoers who